I have a group of beautiful,wonderful, talented young women that I am so blessed to work with in my church. They amaze me with their kindness and strength. I enjoy myself immensely when I'm with them and they can brighten my day instantly with their sweet smiles or texts or comments. I am always trying to encourage them to speak up and share their thoughts and ideas. Sometimes it's easier to get them to talk than others...but I always love them dearly!
I have always been afraid to speak up. I've always been sure someone else has better ideas than mine, or that I will unintentionally hurt or upset someone, or that my comments won't be received well. Sometimes I know I'm being prompted to speak yet I still hold back because of those fears. It's something I've been working hard on for the last few years. I think I'm doing a little better although I can rarely express adequately what is in my heart.
Today my heart is full of love and hurt and sympathy. I know there is not a thing in the world I could say to ease the pain of today. My sweet friend who has been my friend for over two decades is in pain. LaDena has been living a true love story with Mark. They have been married for 20 years. She lost her sweet husband last night. He needed to go. He has been the epitome of a warrior as he has battled cancer and fought to stay with his family as long as he can. But he was tired and worn out. I can imagine well how torn sweet LaDena was as she loved him enough to let him go, but loved him too much to lose him. I'm amazed at the strength her entire family has shown for the three years they have endured this trial. But I know they are hurting beyond any words or comprehension. What do you say to someone who has endured something horrific and then had their heart torn right out of their chest from loss? I have no words. I only have feelings. I hurt beyond all reason for them. I love them, I'm praying for them. I admire them. I give them permission to rant and hurt and cry and process as long as they need to. I offer all the love I have.
In the end I know in my heart of hearts that only God Himself can ease this pain for LaDena, her family and all of us who love them. He is the solace in the chaos. I pray His love, His mercy, and all the comfort and miracles He can bestow on them will carry them through this grief.
D&C 68:6 Wherefore be of good cheer and do not fear for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you.
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