Blue Streak

It's time to address the elephant in the room. I did it at my daddy's funeral; I need to do it now. I have a blue streak. I 'm not talking about my language-I'm talking about my hair.

I always wanted a blue streak. I don't know if it's because someone had one in a super hero cartoon I watched when I was little, or because I can talk a blue streak. I just wanted one my whole life. Last Fall, I started experimenting with color in my hair to see how it would be received by the people in my life. I have to say I have been impressed with the acceptance of the changes people see in my hair. Most people have been amazing about it. I started first with a pastel pink streak-then a red streak-then burgundy-then purple. But all along I gave a heads-up that what I really wanted was a blue streak, and someday when I got the guts, it would be there.

Well, the guts arrived. During one of the last hospital visits towards the end of my dad's life, he told me he needed to see the blue streak before he died. He made me promise I would do it. The next day, the blue streak was in. It was scary. That dye is dark, and it gets everywhere in seconds. Rinsing it out makes it look like there was an alien murder in the bathroom. But I did it. I have never regretted it. I love it. It completes me. It's me. My favorite color is blue. Dad loved it..."it's so you,  Heather. I love it. It makes me happy." It made me feel good to make him happy. It made me happy to do that for him. I'm so grateful I took the jump. I'm so grateful he got to see it. The blue streak has changed my life.

The first thing the blue streak did was give me confidence. Taking that step showed me I am brave. It's hard for me to do things that will draw attention. But I'm so glad I did this. I feel brave. I am brave.

The blue streak brings me calm. I love blue. It's peaceful and calming and just speaks to my soul. The ocean, the sky...blue calls my name. So my blue hair grounds and centers me. It gives me peace.

The blue streak has shown me that there are people in this world who accept me no matter what. It shows me there is acceptance galore in this world. I am so very grateful for the love and support that has been shown to me and my blue streak! People that I would have never dreamed would like the blue come up to me and positively gush over it. Not that I am after gushing. It is just nice that people like it. My friends like it. My family loves it. My husband is crazy for it. My kindergarteners call me the "Reading Fairy" because I "come in and bring all kinds of wonderful books and games and even have blue hair!" So Reading Fairy is definitely a title I can live with.

The blue streak has made me feel pretty. I have a hard time with feeling pretty. I love the way the blue brings my eyes out. For the first time in my life, I actually liked my school picture!

And of course, my blue streak makes me think of my dad. He is always with me. He influences my thoughts and decisions, and makes me want to be a better person. I look in the mirror and remember all the goodness he brought to my life and the complete, absolute love and acceptance he gave to imperfect me. I look in the mirror, and I am grateful.

A little comfort at dad's graveside.
I LOVE YOU DADDY!

Family Matters

Mom. My favorite title aside from "wife". I LOVE being a mom. I understand that I am blessed to be one, and that I get a somewhat heightened experience in being one. I have given birth to beautiful daughters and have been extremely blessed in the literal sense to be a mother. But I have also been given the gift of loving and seeing potential in everyone. Because of this, I have been able to be "mom" to many, many more people than my own precious daughters. I am mom to around 600 students at my sweet little elementary school at any given time. I am mom to many young women who I have had the distinct privilege of serving and learning from in my church. I have been blessed to foster relationships with beautiful people much younger than myself who ask to call me mom because of the love we share. I relish being mom to all of them. And I gain important perspective because of it.

Me and my beautiful girls that I have given birth to.

Whether I am mom to someone through bloodlines or spirit, I recognize that in reality, we are ALL God's children. No matter who gives birth to each child, each one of us is on loan from God. Delivering and raising children is a privilege-a beautiful and exceptionally rewarding experience God gives to show us He loves us and trusts us to love each other and help each other through this life. Getting to raise God's children is icing on the cake of life. I love it. Every joy I find in motherhood is by the grace of God himself, and I am grateful for it.

I have a strong belief that God gave this earth mothers to give the love that he isn't physically here to give. He could have just placed us on the earth at will. But He gave us a way to get here and a way to grow and be nurtured. He gives us blessings to show He loves us constantly. I know there are hundreds of blessings that occur daily for our benefit that we don't ever see or know about, but He gives them to us because He is our Father and He loves us. Mothers carry that love from Him to His children. Some women are not able to be physical mothers. Some mothers neglect their own children. Some children are orphaned. All of us here are able to give love to God's children and serve His purposes in giving respite, comfort, love, selflessness and encouragement to all who need it. I feel blessed to play a tiny part in this.

Another aspect of this is the joy I accrue in finding people to love and care for. I have been blessed with so many wonderful, gentle, happy, amazing spirits in my life that I wouldn't have otherwise known if it hadn't been for my aptitude in mothering. I am not the best mother, or the most perfect mother, but I know how to love and see goodness. I know how to encourage and empathize. I LOVE being  mom. I love being mom to my girls. They are my joys. I love being "school mom" to all the children at school. I love being mom in Young Womens. I love being mom to my friends' children. I love being mom to people who enter my life and touch my heart, opening doors to Heaven when they ask me if they can please call me mom. I love you. I love being mom. Thank you for being a part of my life. I treasure this title. And I am grateful.