IT'S A SECRET

I'm going to save you a trip to the wise man in Tibet.  I'm going to tell you the secret to life.  Yup,  I know what it is! Little old me, Heather Winward from Pleasant View,  Utah knows the secret that man has been searching for since the dawn of time.

First I need to address the purpose of life, and that is LOVE. Love is the reason we are here. It is the be all and end all of why we were created.  Loving is harder than it looks,  because loving in the way we were created to means loving in all circumstances and not just the ones we choose. Which brings me to the secret.

Are you ready? The secret to life is balance. Yes, balance!  It seems simple~so simple that we search for something more complex and earth-shattering to tell us what we are to achieve in our lives.  But balance is elusive and almost impossible to reach. Sure, we can find it for a moment, and in one or even two aspects of our lives,  but to secure balance on every front is pretty much unattainable for us humans. In fact I've  kind of realized that must be what perfection is. .. to be balanced in every way. Though I know I will never reach this kind of balance in my lifetime,  the constant shifting of my priorities might make for wonderful practice.

So back to the purpose of life...love... that takes balance too.  I love quite readily and easily. Loving is the easy part. The boundaries and responsibilities are what makes it tricky. To love when someone has hurt us, or betrayed us,  or made decisions we don't agree with~all that throws a kink into things,  doesn't it?

This can be applied to every other aspect of life. .. there is a point gone too far in everything. How much can I give without enabling? How far can I run before I overwork myself?  How busy can I be before I overwhelm myself? Or here's one I have to ask myself daily. ..How much hand sanitizer can I use before I kill the good bacteria that benefits me? ;)

I mull these things over on a regular basis these days.  I have the secret,  but what I do with it is something else all together.  Maybe sharing it with my readers will benefit someone,  but I suspect we've all known the secret all along. I think the biggest rewards will come when we pair the purpose of life with the secret of life. Perfection being the final outcome.

STUCK

Have you ever felt like the universe is out to get you? I try to believe otherwise but sometimes I have to wonder.  This week has been full of roadblocks for almost everything I have wanted to accomplish. The first few things I took in stride.  The next round had me puzzled but still determined. Next came laughing. Now I'm just frustrated.

Because my days have not gone as planned I ran around like a madwoman this morning trying to catch up on all the chores that were neglected  on account of all the nonsensical   elements that messed with my schedule this week.  I pulled a load of laundry of of the dryer this afternoon, and in leaning down I completely jacked my back out of whack. I said "dang it!"...but not in exactly those words. It takes A LOT to get me to say those words. I was done.  In more ways than one. My back was kinda the last straw.

Weeks like this get me wondering if all these experiences are part of just life or if there is a deeper meaning to things that go wrong. I'm a great believer that God doesn't waste a stroke.  But I also think He lets us live and make our own decisions. I think that as He gave us agency, He lets us experience things because it helps us grow.  I know I gain empathy each time I go through something hard or uncomfortable (or painful). I admit I'm a person who would love it if life was just happy and easy and everyone got along all the time.  I don't like having to go through anything distasteful  but I am grateful I can gain something useful from the hardships  in life.

So as I lay here with Doterra oils and a heating pad on my back, I am searching for meaning in the seemingly random bits of  "that really didn't need to happen" moments I've been introduced to this  week. I really have felt empathy for all individuals who are incapacitated in any way. As I can't move I am taking the time to blog after putting it off for weeks. I'm a little worried because I have to go back to work tomorrow, so I guess laying here is giving me lots of time to ponder and fret, but at least I have time to do it. I'm usually running so fast I can't process anything so by having to rest in one place today my organization skills are getting a workout even if my body isn't. I have recalled with fondness the peaceful and rewarding moments I've had this week, and am grateful I have those good things to cling to. I appreciate the times when I do feel capable and whole and my body works as it should. And I guess if realizing those things are the meaning in meaningless things,  they aren't so meaningless after all.

Baby Steps

Cassie is blissfully wed to Stephen....but we still miss her! I have really enjoyed watching Cassie blossom in her new role as wife. We've gone from 5 phone calls a day to one every few days. The cute couple is the perfect distance away from us-far enough to gain independence yet close enough to get help if they need it. A couple of weeks ago I called Cassie and asked her what she was doing. She told me she was SOOOO excited...she was doing "their" first load of laundry. She loves doing anything that makes it for them!  Together. I love watching them grow.


On the other hand, we have had to adjust here at our house. We've had to take baby steps. I love being a mom. I love being a caretaker. Though my workload is slightly lighter with one less person in the house, my heart is heavier with Cassie gone. The thing that makes it bearable is that I know Cassie is with the right man. She and Stephen are a wonderful couple and that makes me happy.

Meghan has had to adjust along with Chad and me. It took her a few weeks to be able to go to bed without Cassie here. She would just wander around the house until midnight or later. She has done better lately. But every time we do something that we have always done together and Cassie is not with us, we have to adjust again. When we gave Cassie's bunk beds away, we were emotional all over again.

Cassie's empty room

Still, we move forward. We've always had a family tradition to go to Salt Lake City and stay at Little America Hotel. We love it there. This last weekend Chad, Meghan and I went on our annual trip~without Cassie. There was a little trepidation at first, but knowing Cassie was doing just fine without us (and doing fabulous with Stephen) helped us to move forward and we actually had a very nice, relaxing, enjoyable time. Yes, we missed Cassie, but we also know that life will go on, and in taking baby steps we will make it together. That is until Meghan gets married and moves on too. But that is for another time FAR, FAR away. Right Meghan?

At the Cheesecake Factory

The TARDIS across the street from the Bountiful Temple!

View of the Salt Lake Temple from the top of the Conference Center

The view from our room at Little America

At the Aquarium

Meghan in the shark jaw (notice the sign to the right!)

Meghan during our Penguin Experience-one of the
most fun things we've ever done!