Silver Linings DO Exist!

I've been working on this one all day; hoping to word things correctly, make the most sense and even comfort a heart or two in the process. My mind has been in overload on this subject alone. Hopefully my words make as much sense written as they do in my head.

I am a silver linings kind of gal. I search for them. I beg for them. Sometimes I live for them. I believe that no matter how hard or wearying a situation is, good can ALWAYS come from it. Maybe not immediately. There are times that events are so heart wrenching it is hard to see past your own tears for awhile. But as vision clears there are always bright spots to cling to. It is one of the reasons I have made it through life this far. I am on a relentless search for good.

For example, I don't like death-and I don't know any person who does. I understand the physical facts of death and I think I grasp the spiritual meaning to the degree that my frail human mind can~but I don't like it. I don't like separation. I don't like holes left in the hearts of those left behind. I'm scared of the concept of forever (yes, I'm working on that one.) I mostly worry for the ones whose hearts are broken by death. I hurt for them and many times right along with them. Though I would never wish for anyones death or want any soul to go through losing a loved one, I cannot think of many things in this life that bring people together as beautifully as the passing of a loved one does. I recently attended a funeral that was just exquisite. I felt close to all the people who took the time to support and honor at that event. I saw people I haven't seen in 25 years! I was so happy to see so many of them and find out how they are doing. Though I dearly wish we hadn't met up under the circumstances of a funeral, I was still able to feel joy in the way we were all brought together. Silver Lining. Does that make sense?

Now I don't want to come across as Miss Sally Sunshine who thinks that everyone should be happy all the time. I know life is so hard. Even though it is wonderful, it can be enormously distressing and by all means I think you should be able to feel, process, mourn, and work through loss of any kind. But when you're done and can think past just surviving, look for those silver linings. Even the tiny ones. Those will get you through until the bigger ones show up, and though there really are some wounds will never completely heal, searching for the good things might help you do more than survive. You may even be able to live a little. As my friend Jay always says, LIFE: Bring It!

The Winner is.....

I realize I am getting older by my thought process. I did not say I'm getting old. Older. I believe you are only old when you cop to it. I want to have a good attitude about aging. But back to my thought processes. Although my thoughts are rarely witty or quick responses they seem to get deeper the older I get. I think about what life means alot. I am finding I am quite opinionated about it. While I am still trying to get a handle on what I think life is about, I am deciding alot of what I think life isn't about. I'm guessing that as I weed that out, the meaning will become clearer to me. That being said, life itself means lot. It is wonderful. It's an opportunity. It's hard. It's a trial. It's amazing and meant to be LIVED. It's a huge matter of trust in God and what His plan is. Thank Heaven He is so much smarter than me.

One of my strong opinions is that life is not a competition. I have never valued rivalry anyway, and I realize that some people thrive on it. That is fine. If that's what drives you to do good and be a better person I think you're amazing. Competition just does nothing for me. I'm sure that competition has its place in society. It doesn't interest me. I think it's because I have never believed that anyone-no matter their talents, abilities, or standing in life-is better than anyone else. I believe one can make better choices than another, but no one stands above anyone. We're all God's children. Period.

On the other hand, I do believe we all have strengths and there are people who are definitely physically stronger than me, skinnier than me, smarter than me, a better artist than me, more creative than me etc.  I will never be physically able to run a marathon. But I can make a wonderful card to give someone-and then maybe just jog it over to them. I think it is SO cool that we are all different and that in areas where I lack, another can be strong. I think if you can shine and inspire others to do the same, that is a noble thing. But to be "better" just for the sake of saying I can does not hold value to me. What I want is to be a kinder person than I was yesterday. I want to have a stronger heart than I did a year ago (and that is taking alot of effort right now!) I want to be a better mom than I was last week and a better friend than I was last month. I want to be a better wife than I was last night when I was too tired to make dinner and gave my family pancakes (although of course they thanked me for making them anyway.) If I am to be in competition with anyone it will be with myself-to be a better, kinder, softer person who makes life better to those around me.

Feed Your Inner Nerd

I have another hobby that I do not have time for. While searching for items for Young Womens I kept seeing things linked to Pinterest that I did not have access to.....until I joined Pinterest. Yes I joined the site that turns spare time into a vacuum! I am enjoying my activity and seeing everyone else's also. I am doing well limiting my time on it but it has already taught me a lot about myself and the things that seem to attract my attention.

One of the good things I'm finding is that I love to be joyful. I love to be around joyful people, see joyful things, and read sayings that reflect joy. I am just eating it right up and there is an endless supply of material on Pinterest that can feed my joyful streak for more hours than there are in a day.  Many positive, happy, cute, inspiring things fill this world. I want to explore all of them-if not in person then at least online!

 

I am also finding my inner nerd - and feeding it! The things that make me laugh.....make me laugh! Dogs, Muppets, Thor Memes-I'm also finding I have a super nerd interest in weather phenomenon. Whoda thunk it? In all this I rather like feeding the nerdiness in my personality and am quite fond of it actually. The best part is that every person harbors a nerd in some part of their psyche. To let it shine and show a little bit of vulnerability is quite liberating. More fun, more personality, more joy. I highly recommend letting yours out once in awhile. It may delight you!

Statler and Waldorf at their finest.
 

Awesome weather in Australia

 

Cute pugs doing head tilts

Boxer reaction to lime

                                 Link to my Pinterest

 



(Life is) Short but Sweet

I love summer. I love spending time with my girls. I love not having a super-structured schedule. Although I love my job, and it provides extra money for...let's say new clothes when my 14 year old grows out of everything she owns-overnight. I mainly got a job because it keeps me from being lonely while my girls are at school and my husband is at work. Yes, it is my antidote to loneliness. And it's feels good to be doing something valuable with my time while also keeping myself in great company until my family is home with me. But back to summer. I love it.

One of the reasons I always think I'm looking forward to summer is because I have a to do list as long as my arm. All those things I can't seem to fit in during the school year. Cleaning out cupboards, organizing, shampooing carpets, cleaning out the garage-all those tasks that pile up. I have a schedule all made up by the end of April so I can get it done during the summer months. Then summer begins, and my schedule dissolves. For good reasons.

Last week I had reserved a day for organizing. Since both of my girls were going to be home I let them know not to make any plans and to be ready for a long day of cleaning and sorting out. We were even going to get up early-that is until we stayed up until 11:30 the night before. So the day began late but  we were on a roll for a couple of hours....then while we were taking a "short" breather we got wrapped up in one of our favorite shows-and ended up watching 5 episodes. We had a blast. Laughing, eating (in the Living Room even) and just enjoying being together. I love my children. They delight me. They are much wittier than I am and have awesome perspective on life. We had fun. And so I was taught once again-by my children-that life is short but full of sweetness and you have to grab that sweetness whenever you can-even if the closet still needs to be organized.

My sweets-eating sweets-and teaching me that life is sweet!

How Do You Carry On?

Life is a trial. No matter how wonderful it can be, it is a trial, and it is meant to be. There is no other way to grow. I can't say that I like it~I have a crazy notion that life could be wonderful every minute if every person would give 100% to loving each other, but that's neither here nor there. Life is amazing, but full of crazy, unfair, devastating bumps in the road. Sometimes those bumps are more like craters.

How do YOU get through those craters and over your bumps? What helps you to get to the other side? Really. I'm asking. I want ideas and resources. I will share them with everyone else so we can all get through this crazy ole life. Right now I need to share them with LaDena. She's in that phase of devastation where you have been through what should have been the hardest part of your trial, and then realize that in some ways the hardship is just starting. I've been there. Most of us have. When reality hits and loneliness is a bitter reminder of your loss. Finding joy is fleeting, even when you're looking for every scrap of it available. But finding it IS possible. It's even probable-especially knowing her. I'm making a list of ways to carry on, find joy, and keep going. Feel free to add to it. I'm open to joy. And I love you LaDena!

-I find a lot of joy on my knees, talking...although sometimes I get thinking too much when I'm on my knees....I do know that through Christ really is the way to be whole. Time is the issue. But I think after we look back at our grieving process once we've gone through loss, we wouldn't trade the process for anything.

-PEOPLE!! Sometimes you need a break from so many people loving you and "trying to help" but when I can, I need to have people around me to buoy me up and help me forget the loneliness. Even a card or text cheers me and helps me move forward.

-Music. I put caution with this one though. Music can lift me just about as fast as anything on earth. But I have to be careful it's the right song. If it's an emotional one, it can draw out the mourning 10 X longer than it would have been in the first place! Some of my favorites right now: Brighter Than the Sun by Colbie Callait, Life in One Day by Howard Jones ALWAYS makes me smile, Carry On by Fun, Brave by Sara Barielles, 22 by Taylor Swift, On Top of the World by Imagine Dragons, Firework by Katy Perry~anything that has a beat and boosts your spirit. Blast it. Dance.

-Food. Don't underestimate the power of it. It can bring togetherness on like nobody's business! Yes, be careful it's not all you do. But eat. Yummy things. That make you happy.

-Writing. Sorting my feelings is therapeutic. To a point. I don't draw it out too long or I'm exhausted.

-Reading. Nothing depressing though. Read all the pages of positive quotes there are on the internet. There are tens of thousand of them! I also recommend Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffmann. It lifts the spirit and gives hope.

-Smell great smells that remind you of happy things. I realize this is a double edged sword because smells can attach us to events in our lives, but I wouldn't make it without them.

-Engage your funny bone. As often as possible. Store the laughter away!

-Count tender mercies. Every last one of them. Every day.

-Believe it will get better.

-And MOST IMPORTANTLY-only listen to the advice you want to!!!  xoxoxoxoxox

Save or Share

My entire life I've been taught to be frugal and save for a rainy day. I have embraced those ideas and am a couponer, a saver, a baragin finder and at times a hoarder. I love having pretty much anything I need in a reserve somewhere in my house (yes, I have been known to stash candles under my bed as well as in the basement!) I also LOVE a good sale, a good deal and especially clearance-with a coupon! I believe in being self-reliant and having things in store for those times when life is not as fruitful as we're used to-which has been rare.  Blessedly, I have never gone without anything I needed, growing up, or as an adult. I have always had everything I need and most of what I want. I realize I have more than most of the world. I am so grateful!

Some of my candles. Yes, Chad knows about these.

Because I have been given much, and because I grew up with some of the most generous human beings on earth, I have a desire to share. Actually I have a NEED to share. It's almost compulsive. I've been told I give too much. I've been told, "You don't have to do that. You don't have to give me that."  I'll tell you a secret. That's what makes it so fun!

My Bath and Body Works lotions. I love to give these away as gifts!

One of my earliest memorable stories about my dad is about him needing a new coat and finding the perfect one. Shortly after purchasing the coat, he was driving down the freeway in El Paso and saw a man shivering on the side of the road. My dad pulled over, took off his new coat and gave it to this man, then drove home. Generosity at its best! My parents gave to others my whole life and didn't just talk the talk, but walked the walk! I hope I have learned adequately from their example.

So now it's kind of fun when someone says to me, "Are you sure you don't want to save that? Do you really want to give it away?" to be able to say "Yes. I want you to have it." Sure I feel that saving and being self-sustaining is important, and I make a habit of it. But I also feel knowing someone is using or enjoying something they want or need is very rewarding. I love it. Sharing is an amazing feeling. Watching something sit on a shelf is not nearly as exciting. There's a season for saving and season for sharing. I like both!

Some of my food storage.

One Small Gesture

Have you ever wondered if you make a difference in the Grand Scheme of Things? Wondered how you can even make a dent in this big ole world? How does one person affect a life, a group, a city, a nation? Does it matter?

There are times I feel so very small in this world. Insignificant. One person trying to do good in a whirlwind of unkindness and misdeeds. If I watch the news for just one evening I can feel this way immediately.  It makes me sad to see what the media divines to be newsworthy. Deception, stealing, lying, hurting, tragedy...when in my mind the things that need to be broadcast are kindnesses, rescues, charity, bravery, heroism, nobility. Those things are out there-the good things. Surrounding us every day if we just look.  Just because they don't get reported to nations doesn't mean they aren't changing the world.

Mother Teresa said, “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”   I think that is so true. As I pondered whether one small gesture can change things, I was struck with the grand notion and knowledge that YES! it can. We can! Today as I approached a person who is always extremely busy, I was greeted with warmth and very complimentary words. I was not expecting these words, or searching for them. I was just on an errand. This unexpected bright spot was delivered with sincerity and kindness. Although I was having a perfectly wonderful day, my day brightened even further, and I like to think I carried this brightness with me to the people that I came in contact with.  And then maybe they passed some brightness on too. Yes, I think small gestures make a world of difference. They can change a day, a person, a roomful of people, or just one life. But in the end even one life matters.

Mother Teresa

Gandhi
"We must become the change we want to see."
"The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problems."

 "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."

Thomas S. Monson

“My dear sisters, do not pray for tasks equal to your abilities, but pray for abilities equal to your tasks. Then the performance of your tasks will be no miracle, but you will be the miracle.”

Divine Positioning

Have you ever thought about your circumstances in life~and why you're in the specific ones you are? I know I'm blessed for sure. I feel I have so much~more than I need and so much of what I want. I truly realize how much I have been given! I feel I have also been blessed with contentment. I rarely feel the need to have more. I am quite satisfied with what I have-especially with physical blessings and needs. But I feel my blessings go far beyond what I have in the material sense.

I'm always amazed at the people who surround me at specific times in my life. I always have the right people at the right time to help me, inspire me, influence me, befriend me, encourage me, and even warn me in whatever I am dealing with at the time. I've had instances where just one thing was said in my presence that changed everything for me~about the way I was thinking about or looking at something~and then my whole perspective turned direction. I'm amazed at my blessings.

A dear friend brought to light the idea of divine positioning~being placed in the best circumstances possible to make it safely back to God. A-HA MOMENT!!! That idea aligns the stars for me! I've always known in my heart that I'm placed where I am, with MY circumstances, with the people that surround me, for a reason. It makes me feel so humble to think that it's because God wants me back with Him in his presence. It makes me so grateful someone loves me that much. And it makes me even more grateful for all that I have-especially the PEOPLE who are helping me get there.

 



Some of the people who help me get back home:



This man, my wonderful husband, Chad,  gives me perspective like no other. He helps me see what is right, what is real, and helps me be who I want to be. He sees light in me-especially during those times when I don't feel I have any to let shine.





My sweet daughter, Meghan knows what is right. She knows what kindness does for others and she stands up for what she believes in. No one sways her once she knows something. She is strong and kind.
 



My sweet daughter, Cassie has eternal perspective like no one I've ever known. She gets eternal families and the concept of being with them forever. I'm grateful for her views and knowledge.
 



 

President Thomas S. Monson, who leads my church today. He gives counsel that I know is for me and the time I live in. He, along with my wonderful church leaders and ward family surround me with the things I need to stay true to myself and the things I know are right.



Where There is Light, There is Hope

I just got back from an amazing 4 days at girls camp in St. George. Although I have never experienced such a fast-paced camp, I loved every minute of it. I loved what we did. I loved who I was with. I loved the atmosphere there. I loved the things I learned and was reminded of there. I loved that my whole family was with me while I was there. I loved how I felt there!

Cove Fort UT

There are a zillion things I could talk about. The bonds that were built there, the love and kindness that was shown, the bravery and fortitude exemplified. I could talk about the things that people have survived and how strong they have become through their trials. I could talk about the light that emanated from my young women and the leaders I was with. These people gave of themselves, endured, did selfless service without complaint. They watched out for each other and looked outside of themselves. It was all so very inspiring-beyond any words I could say.

On a tour with a missionary at Cove Fort

The flag waving majestically at Cove Fort

 

I came home feeling tired but refreshed-if that makes sense. I was so far beyond physically exhausted when I got home, but my spirit was recharged, my soul fed, my heart touched. The people I was with are all quite beautiful physically, but the things I learned  with and about each of them made them even more beautiful to me.

Look at all that beauty!

On Dixie Rock

Listening to inspiration on Dixie Rock while overlooking the St. George Temple.

 

At Tuacahn after several hours of service-still smiling.

So what kind of lesson or thought can stand out in 4 days worth of growth and inspiration? How do you choose just one thing? It was actually quite simple to me. Hope was the thing that stood out to me the most. Hope in the future. Hope that my children can do hard things and make it through them stronger than they were before. Hope that there are good people everywhere.  Hope for joy. Hope for goodness. And hope comes from one source. That source is light. Light from God, light from others, physical light and spiritual light. I was surrounded by it in every way. Where there is light, there is hope. I have hope.

Whatsoever is light, is good:Alma 32:35

I couldn't resist -Meghan in the push challenge at Anti-gravity arena.

Cassie doing the same challenge.

 

The very definition of light