Craving Fall-But Not Wanting Summer to End-Yet

I start getting a little antsy this time of year. And hot. Although I do not like this about myself, I am one of those people who starts automatically counting things down in my head. I know that this habit depletes some of the joy I should be having in this life, because instead of being completely in the moment, my brain is counting down what I have left of that moment.

For example, whenever we are on a vacation, I start out enjoying the activities and having fun, but by the middle of the trip my brain starts yelling at me, "Oh no....we're halfway through! I only have X amount of days left of vacation!" And the countdown continues until it's over. I hate that! I try to drown that silly voice out but it's always in there dying to get out. As I've gotten older, I have tried to mercilessly squelch that voice as soon as it rears its ugly noise at me. I'm working on that.

I realize I do the same thing with summer break. I love my job. It's fulfilling, it makes me happy, I work with amazing adults and children, and it gives me something constructive to do during the hours that my family is gone. But I love summer. I love the freedom of it and the memories built during it. I admit that I am one of those moms that LOVES to be with her children. ALL the time. I love having time to spend with them. I love having a little more family time and that those evening hours don't have to be spent doing homework and chores, but outside roasting marshmallows and chasing dragonflies.

BUT. As soon as the middle of July rolls around, that voice starts up again. "You have to go back to work in 3 weeks." "Your summer is almost 3/4 over!" "The kids have grown up another year. You're running out of time with them."  It's relentless! I think that's why we try to cram in as many last minute activities as possible this time of year. We know we have to! And my goal is to enjoy every minute. I don't want to wish time away.

On a positive note for summer's end (no it is NOT here yet!!) I am craving Fall and all the joy that comes with it.  COOLER DAYS!!! Sweater weather. Hearty meals. Yummy spicy smells. Leaf piles to jump in. Halloween...and more life to live. I figure if that voice is going to be in my head anyway, I should give it a silver lining to shout about-right?

Cassie and Meghan leaf pile jumps-Fall 2004

Cute faces -2004

Yay for sweater weather!

 

(Life is) Short but Sweet

I love summer. I love spending time with my girls. I love not having a super-structured schedule. Although I love my job, and it provides extra money for...let's say new clothes when my 14 year old grows out of everything she owns-overnight. I mainly got a job because it keeps me from being lonely while my girls are at school and my husband is at work. Yes, it is my antidote to loneliness. And it's feels good to be doing something valuable with my time while also keeping myself in great company until my family is home with me. But back to summer. I love it.

One of the reasons I always think I'm looking forward to summer is because I have a to do list as long as my arm. All those things I can't seem to fit in during the school year. Cleaning out cupboards, organizing, shampooing carpets, cleaning out the garage-all those tasks that pile up. I have a schedule all made up by the end of April so I can get it done during the summer months. Then summer begins, and my schedule dissolves. For good reasons.

Last week I had reserved a day for organizing. Since both of my girls were going to be home I let them know not to make any plans and to be ready for a long day of cleaning and sorting out. We were even going to get up early-that is until we stayed up until 11:30 the night before. So the day began late but  we were on a roll for a couple of hours....then while we were taking a "short" breather we got wrapped up in one of our favorite shows-and ended up watching 5 episodes. We had a blast. Laughing, eating (in the Living Room even) and just enjoying being together. I love my children. They delight me. They are much wittier than I am and have awesome perspective on life. We had fun. And so I was taught once again-by my children-that life is short but full of sweetness and you have to grab that sweetness whenever you can-even if the closet still needs to be organized.

My sweets-eating sweets-and teaching me that life is sweet!