Skipping Thanksgiving

I am going to admit something. I used to be a person who waited until after Thanksgiving to decorate for Christmas. Listening to Christmas music is another story but I waited to decorate for the first years of my marriage. Two things happened to change that.

The first thing that happened was that my family fell in love with Disneyland at Christmas. We love to go the week after Thanksgiving. The first year we went to Disney I waited until we got home to get Christmas ready. I was behind the rest of the season. It completely overwhelmed me to get ready after a big trip. So now I do a little at a time for a few weeks before Thanksgiving so that after Thanksgiving dinner we are ready to sit back and take in every moment of the Christmas Season without any worry about being ready. We get to live in every moment of Christmas and we love it. It is absolutely wonderful to me that Thanksgiving goes so perfectly with Christmas and that we get to experience joy, gratitude, love, hope, wonder and awe in two holidays that tie so perfectly together. And amazingly enough we never skip Thanksgiving. EVER!

 

 

The second thing that happened was 9/11; that horrible, soul-shaking, heart-breaking event that changed our sense of safety and tranquility forever. We went to Disneyland that November. We were scared to go, scared to fly, scared of evil people and what they might do. There was a somber feeling across the nation and a desperate need of hope. We needed some joy. So I started putting some up in my home....along with my turkeys and cornucopias. We put up wreaths, listened to songs of a glorious child being born to the Earth, put up our Nativity and celebrated the hope of good things and good people while we were overwhelmed with absolute gratitude at what we have been blessed with as a family. We celebrated Thanksgiving to the hilt and rode all those feel good moments on into the Christmas season.We found more joy. We loved it, we felt closer as a family and we shared our joy with everyone we could find.

 

I've said before that I don't care when you decide to celebrate, or decorate, or enjoy your own Christmas traditions. I feel that is such a personal thing. But I am amazed at the anger that is unleashed over people who embrace the whole holiday season and don't feel there has to be a grace period between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I want EVERYONE to enjoy their own holiday season however they see -or should I say FEEL fit. Worrying about whether others are skipping Thanksgiving because they find joy in the whole experience only takes away from your Thanksgiving-your feelings of joy and contentment. That's something I  don't want to give away to anyone. The stores are going to put out their decorations, people are going to do their shopping and when you think about it there really aren't Thanksgiving carols to play over the pa systems...I don't see that changing. So I let  the wonders and marvels of every song, decoration, sentiment and feeling into my soul. I let the magic of kindness, giving, gratitude, love for mankind and the miracle of a Savior give me peace. Then celebrate every single happy moment I can instead of letting "commercialism" eat away at my heart. It brings me a sense of respite, it gives me calm, it feeds my need for joy and BONUS: I am ALWAYS prepared for Christmas. Let the joy in. It's wonderful-I promise!

Ooey Gooey Mush

I spent 2-1/2 hours at Instacare today. Then I spent an hour and a half at the pharmacy. Good thing I took the whole day off work, huh?

Every year around this time I get sick. My body usually decides around the end of October that its walls of defense have crumbled against all the little viruses I get exposed to in my school of 600 cute but potential carriers. This year I felt I was doing quite well. I have had a cold for about 16 days running now. I lose my voice about every 3rd day but other than that it has been pretty mild and bearable. But I can't get well. So after a sleepless night I buckled under and headed into the doctor. They were swamped and then some. But I was extremely grateful for the time my doctor took with me once I got in there. He was kind and thorough and as I was leaving he thanked me for working with children. He apologized for the fact that I haven't been well but told me how much it meant to parents to have good people looking after their children every day. I was so honored to be able to be the recipient of his thanks, and so grateful he took the time to talk to me.

Turns out that this lingering cold has damaged my vocal cords and that is why I am in pain and constantly losing my voice. And I am supposed to limit the use of my voice while the steroids kick in-until Monday. Did I mention I work at an elementary school? I have a barrage of prescriptions and a multitude of thanks for the goodness I experience regularly. It helps offset the less enjoyable moments in life. As I sat there waiting for my prescriptions I reflected on a few instances filled with goodness that I've seen in the last 24 hours. I offer them as a little mush to soak into your heart, to make it warm and happy.

Just over the counter I listened to a pharmacist make a phone call. He was on the phone for a good half hour with a customer. He was kind and patient, and trying to help her find any way he could to help her afford her medications. He went through plans, prescription programs and rewards with her and had them printed for her if she wanted to come look them over more thoroughly. I am sure he didn't have that kind of time with the amount of traffic that was coming in, but I was impressed and touched by his efforts and kindness.

Yesterday on the playground a sweet boy whom I have mentioned in my blog before came running up to me. When we see kids doing good things we give them a little paper that says they were "caught being good". When they have collected several, they can trade them in for a prize, or just pay money to get the prize. This boy had saved up 10 caught being goods for 3 weeks and had enough to "buy" a little eraser. He was so excited and so proud of it. Not a minute later a little girl came to me in a panic because she had lost the last quarter she needed to buy her eraser. She was teary and sad. I watched this boy  walk up to her, put an arm around her and hug her tears away. He took his brand new eraser that he had worked so hard for and gave it to her without a second thought to what he was losing. He told her, "It's okay. This is yours now. No need to be sad anymore. I have made it okay." It was all I could do not to cry. I told this boy how wonderful it was that he had been so generous. He said, "Well, she was sad. I am a good boy. I needed to make her happy again."

Little miracles created from big hearts. Oh how I love it. Ooey gooey mush. It makes the world right and it makes me so grateful.

*PS-I have to admit that I took it upon myself to make things right for this boy. I gave him enough more caught being goods to get himself an eraser. His generosity deserved much more than that.

I Assume

We all do it.  Every last one of us, every day. Sometimes it's a good thing, and sometimes it takes a bad turn. We assume.  The human condition makes it so.

Most of the time our assumptions are innocent. They are a reaction. They are the effects of assessment.

When at a stop sign,  we assume other traffic will obey right of way rules and all will go well. We assume the best, and for the most part it suits us well to think that way.  But once in awhile,  the assumption is wrong, and it costs. Hopefully just a dent in the fender, but it could be so much more.

Many of our assumptions are made in great faith. For instance I assume that the donut I'm about to eat is going to taste heavenly, that the person my child is spending the evening with  is a kind, mature (enough) friend that my child will come home undamaged and whole, that my boss values what I do enough to continue to give me a paycheck each month, that the employee at the check out stand will be cheerful and treat me well as a customer. We assume most people are good, or at least have good in them. All good things to assume. Assuming the best instead of the worst can be a virtue.

Then there are the things that maybe we shouldn't assume. These things are harder to give examples of because assumptions can be personal, they can come with feelings, and there are sometimes valid reasons supporting many assumptions. Usually a past experience comes into play somewhere along the way. But relationships are a place where caution needs to be used when assuming. And relationships are where we tend to assume the most often. When you love someone it is natural to want to see the best in them. It is also easy to come down the hardest on them.

I find when I am questioning where I stand with someone, that is when I am the most likely to assume the worst-not about the person but about what they feel about me. It's a horrible feeling to wonder where you stand in the heart of someone you care about. Keeping this in mind, I don't want anyone else to feel that way. I am pretty open about my feelings and my love for others. Then there's no question. But if there is, I hope I am approachable enough to be asked. And most likely I love you. I guarantee I can see the good in you. And absolutely I can be convinced of the best in you-by you and the things that you do.

Whaaaattttt?

Look at our world. Look at the headlines! Actually, don't. They are for the most part downright depressing. Catastrophic events, corrupt leaders, dishonesty, families falling apart....I'd better stop now. It's crazy. We need some good.

There is good. It's usually buried in obscure pieces of news, and tiny corners of the written word. As far as the media is concerned, it's not worth reporting because it's not sensational enough. I think good is right under our noses. Good is still all over the place, we just don't get to see and hear all of it that goes on every day. But we need to. We need good. We need happy. We need kind. We need light.

So why, how, what the heck....I hear complaints that....wait for it....it's truly going to shock you- "There are people who are TOO nice." WHAT the heck?

Some call it being naïve. Some think if you're happy all the time you've got to be fake. Me? I think it's amazing. I think it's brave, I think it's possessing a divine attribute.

I think it is a grand thing to find a person who can keep being nice in the midst of the things that life can dish out. It's amazing to me when people can stay positive no matter what is going on in the world and even more importantly their own homes and families. The person who can smile through the pain and help others through theirs is a saint,  period. Someone who is kind when they have been hurt? The epitome of grace and charity. Sometimes being happy is the furthest thing from a person's mind, but to find kindness and share it no matter what is one of the things we are here to learn. Not complaining when there's plenty to complain about? Try it for a day. See if you can do it. That takes grit, strength and integrity. Finding light in the darkness? Joy in the drudgery? Delight in the simple things? Good things in my book. Nice qualities. Nice things to be around. Nice, just nice!

SO no. You can't be too nice. In a world like this where nice can keep even one person going, there's no such thing as being too nice. Keep bringing it nice people! Because I NEED NICE. And I will be grateful.

 

Who Cares?

I slept in today. Chad went to work at 4:30 this morning and when he came home, we both went back to bed and this family slept until well after lunch time. It has been one of those weeks. I am so grateful that last weekend was peaceful and recharged me physically, spiritually and mentally or I might not have made it through this week. Each one of us is exhausted to the core on every level possible. But we are grateful we have had each other to come home to each night. So grateful I have a sanctuary full of people I love to return to each day. It makes literally everything worth it.

Mi familia~ mi vida
My family~my life

I love my life. It is rich and full and I have so much goodness in each day. But like everyone else, I experience stress, worry, exhaustion, heartbreak and all the other emotions that are not as much fun to handle. I have really had to look for joy in my life with all the stressors affecting me like they are. My "inappropriate" heart is being really inappropriate in handling the chaos. The week began with worrying about my father and the fact that his home dialysis is not working for him.  In the midst of a remodel that I instigated but is throwing off my groove, family members in the ICU and trying to find the healthiest routes to keep them alive, intense work stress for Chad and me, and all the other day to day instances that give extra worry, I have had to stop every single day and start naming the things that are blessings and joys in my life. I am happy to report that there have been many things to count. I am grateful for the people who care.



Painting, patching, ripping up carpet, redoing stairs....
and getting ready for new carpet on Friday.


I read something along the lines of "You know who your true friends are by who is there for you when things are bad." I agree to a point. I have never expected my friends to come flying to my side when I am having a rough time. Just knowing they are my friends is enough for me. Knowing I am loved, or even thought of will get me through most any situation that is in any way hard. On Monday morning one of my fourth graders brought me a pair of Halloween earrings she had made for me, just because she was thinking of me. On Tuesday morning I woke up to the sweetest text from a dear friend of mine, just reminding me that she loves me. On Wednesday one of my dear friends picked up Meghan and took her to Young Womens for me, making sure Meghan knows SHE is loved in the process. A wonderful family kept me updated on how their daughter who we have been praying for is doing. My boss was extremely kind in hearing this latest installment of stress, and told me to do whatever I needed to in taking care of those I love. Yesterday another dear friend texted me while she was  on the way to California to see how my sister in ICU is doing. I have been told prayers are being said for my sister, my dad, and my family. That is absolutely humbling and heart-warming. I feel loved. That's all I need.

My new earrings

I know that life is stressful. We all have our "stuff". You might be going through your own, completely oblivious to what I am going through, and vice versa. I hope you know I love you even when I am not "there" for you. You're in my heart always and I pray for you no matter where you are in your life. And I'm grateful you pray for me no matter where I am in mine. That's what matters.

Thanks for loving me, for being a part of my life, and for letting me know you care. Thanks for being the angel that whispers to me in the right place and at the right time. I love it that we can all share the joy in caring for each other. I love my peeps. And I am ever so grateful!

Fughget About It

A while ago my family sat in a meeting for my church. One of the speakers gave a talk that started out with some alarming stories, but it all led up to forgiveness. Forgiving and forgetting when you are wronged. He gave some counsel to not only forgive, but to forget entirely the wrongs that are sent our way. We expect to be forgiven completely; the Lord expects the same of us.

I will say that I forgive pretty easily. Sometimes I have to process my feelings for a time, but I can usually forgive relatively quickly. I love always, and I think that is the reason I can let things go. I love you even when you are bad to me. I guess I shouldn't publicize that, but it's true, so I should be big enough to admit it. Forgetting takes a bit more time. But I am realizing it's an important ingredient in forgiveness.

I understand what forgiveness does for the soul. It is cleansing. It has a regenerating quality about it. Forgiveness builds up instead of tearing down. I believe in it. However, I have experienced the "salt-in-the-wound" effect that running into a situation that you forgave, but haven't forgotten yet can present. All the time spent soul searching and cleansing gets sucked into a vortex for just a moment and the fear of getting hurt yet again resurfaces. Especially if you have never gotten an apology, or if it has happened repeatedly. And I do realize that there are so many times we humans get upset over things that the other person never has any idea they have ever done to us. But it hurts nonetheless. My wise husband thinks that forgetting means we no longer dwell on the incident-that it doesn't consume us anymore. I like that answer. Especially since situations teach us and we don't want to forget the lessons, just the pain.

Chad and I have discussed this at length. I think it comes down to a trust issue. Now I am no monk on the mountain, but I think that there are times that we have actually done the forgiving and the forgetting, but the trust has not been built again. And that becomes its own separate entity. I think trust can be gained again, but it is not automatic, and it probably shouldn't be. It keeps us aware if we  are looking for reasons to trust, and it makes us search for goodness in others who have hurt us.

MY LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL. MY TRUST IS NOT.

Maybe it comes down to work, and the understanding that we are all on this journey called life~living and learning and hopefully growing. Love helps a lot, but the fact of the matter is we are human. That I get the chance to be so makes me grateful.

My Own Drum

I have always been one to march to the beat of my own drum. I have enjoyed the freedom of not having to be "like everyone else". I'm not one to follow trends or feel like I need to have the latest, greatest whatever. I wore black  and paisley in high school and listened to everything from alternative 80's music to Christmas classics. When I watch home shows my brain rebels wildly when "stainless steel appliances", "neutral tones"  and "natural light" are the themes of every single episode. I guess I don't like it that some unseen person in some obscure location is telling me what I should and should not have in my home, when I feel it is my taste and comfort that should be experienced in my own personal space. Although I don't think I have ever set out to rebel against anything, I realize sometimes my actions have proven that I don't like to be caged in  by someone else's rules. Unless I know those rules to work for me and my well being. Then it becomes another matter entirely.

I have had friends through the years ask me why I am bound to the beliefs and teachings of my church. I have a simple answer. They work for me. They keep me focused. They keep me working on improving myself and making a life with good outcomes instead of hard consequences. I readily admit that I have failed at times to follow good advice and counsel. Those times have resulted in hard lessons learned and growth I did not want to have to experience. I would rather learn from others' mistakes than have to learn myself the hard way. But I am grateful I have learned. I have learned to consider the possible outcomes to my decisions and weigh the consequences that would come from said decisions. A show of personality or tenacity is necessary for the things we really believe in, but the act of rebelling for the sake of showing defiance is in most cases not worth the end result. "Because I can" doesn't seem like a good enough reason to throw good sense out the window.  My parents spent my entire life trying to instill common sense and good values into me. And yes, there were times when I barreled through life, wanting to show my independence, and learned quickly (and sometimes not so quickly) that those things my parents had been drilling into my head made a lot of sense.  They kept me safe, they gave me a clear head, they kept my body and mind clean. In reality, those pieces of advice and caution made me happy if I followed them.

Every person on earth has to learn. The process can be relatively easy if we let it be, but then it can also be some of the worst drudgery around. Humans have a tendency to go too far. Proving a point soon becomes the point of no return....or at least a hard return anyway. I guess what I am trying to process in my own mind with this onslaught of words is that  I think it is great to want to be your own person. It is amazing to go through the journey of self discovery and find that you don't have to be like everyone else to be happy. But in that process, I think it's important to hold on to the things that are grounding and sensible, and not throw them away for the sake of "being yourself". You can be yourself and still do the right thing. You can be unique and still choose good things. You can show independence and still agree with good, old fashioned common sense. So go find you, but do it carefully. Sometimes those boundaries we fight against can be the very things that save us.

Grateful that Chad sees the uniqueness in me, but also loves  me for the
good sense my parents instilled in me.