My Own Drum

I have always been one to march to the beat of my own drum. I have enjoyed the freedom of not having to be "like everyone else". I'm not one to follow trends or feel like I need to have the latest, greatest whatever. I wore black  and paisley in high school and listened to everything from alternative 80's music to Christmas classics. When I watch home shows my brain rebels wildly when "stainless steel appliances", "neutral tones"  and "natural light" are the themes of every single episode. I guess I don't like it that some unseen person in some obscure location is telling me what I should and should not have in my home, when I feel it is my taste and comfort that should be experienced in my own personal space. Although I don't think I have ever set out to rebel against anything, I realize sometimes my actions have proven that I don't like to be caged in  by someone else's rules. Unless I know those rules to work for me and my well being. Then it becomes another matter entirely.

I have had friends through the years ask me why I am bound to the beliefs and teachings of my church. I have a simple answer. They work for me. They keep me focused. They keep me working on improving myself and making a life with good outcomes instead of hard consequences. I readily admit that I have failed at times to follow good advice and counsel. Those times have resulted in hard lessons learned and growth I did not want to have to experience. I would rather learn from others' mistakes than have to learn myself the hard way. But I am grateful I have learned. I have learned to consider the possible outcomes to my decisions and weigh the consequences that would come from said decisions. A show of personality or tenacity is necessary for the things we really believe in, but the act of rebelling for the sake of showing defiance is in most cases not worth the end result. "Because I can" doesn't seem like a good enough reason to throw good sense out the window.  My parents spent my entire life trying to instill common sense and good values into me. And yes, there were times when I barreled through life, wanting to show my independence, and learned quickly (and sometimes not so quickly) that those things my parents had been drilling into my head made a lot of sense.  They kept me safe, they gave me a clear head, they kept my body and mind clean. In reality, those pieces of advice and caution made me happy if I followed them.

Every person on earth has to learn. The process can be relatively easy if we let it be, but then it can also be some of the worst drudgery around. Humans have a tendency to go too far. Proving a point soon becomes the point of no return....or at least a hard return anyway. I guess what I am trying to process in my own mind with this onslaught of words is that  I think it is great to want to be your own person. It is amazing to go through the journey of self discovery and find that you don't have to be like everyone else to be happy. But in that process, I think it's important to hold on to the things that are grounding and sensible, and not throw them away for the sake of "being yourself". You can be yourself and still do the right thing. You can be unique and still choose good things. You can show independence and still agree with good, old fashioned common sense. So go find you, but do it carefully. Sometimes those boundaries we fight against can be the very things that save us.

Grateful that Chad sees the uniqueness in me, but also loves  me for the
good sense my parents instilled in me.