I Assume

We all do it.  Every last one of us, every day. Sometimes it's a good thing, and sometimes it takes a bad turn. We assume.  The human condition makes it so.

Most of the time our assumptions are innocent. They are a reaction. They are the effects of assessment.

When at a stop sign,  we assume other traffic will obey right of way rules and all will go well. We assume the best, and for the most part it suits us well to think that way.  But once in awhile,  the assumption is wrong, and it costs. Hopefully just a dent in the fender, but it could be so much more.

Many of our assumptions are made in great faith. For instance I assume that the donut I'm about to eat is going to taste heavenly, that the person my child is spending the evening with  is a kind, mature (enough) friend that my child will come home undamaged and whole, that my boss values what I do enough to continue to give me a paycheck each month, that the employee at the check out stand will be cheerful and treat me well as a customer. We assume most people are good, or at least have good in them. All good things to assume. Assuming the best instead of the worst can be a virtue.

Then there are the things that maybe we shouldn't assume. These things are harder to give examples of because assumptions can be personal, they can come with feelings, and there are sometimes valid reasons supporting many assumptions. Usually a past experience comes into play somewhere along the way. But relationships are a place where caution needs to be used when assuming. And relationships are where we tend to assume the most often. When you love someone it is natural to want to see the best in them. It is also easy to come down the hardest on them.

I find when I am questioning where I stand with someone, that is when I am the most likely to assume the worst-not about the person but about what they feel about me. It's a horrible feeling to wonder where you stand in the heart of someone you care about. Keeping this in mind, I don't want anyone else to feel that way. I am pretty open about my feelings and my love for others. Then there's no question. But if there is, I hope I am approachable enough to be asked. And most likely I love you. I guarantee I can see the good in you. And absolutely I can be convinced of the best in you-by you and the things that you do.