Positive ID

I am a people pleaser. I'm pretty sure I was born this way. There are times this is a hindrance to me. But for the most part I feel like being a people pleaser is kind of like being a builder~a bucket filler of sorts. And I would rather be a builder than a destroyer.

The world is full of under-appreciated people. I'd say most of us are not appreciated as much as we should be. Sadly, that's how life is-we don't get a pat on the back for every single thing we do. Much of what humans accomplish in a lifetime are thankless tasks and responsibilities necessary to get through each day. This is why the words "thank you" are so important in our world. When a sincere thanks is rendered, the will to continue those menial tasks is renewed.

In any given day that I'm at work, I will hand out a dozen band-aids, open a hundred little milks, tie 10 pairs of shoes, read with 15 or more children, copy a thousand papers, and wipe up spills  of applesauce, milk, Gogurt, spaghetti, and a number of other concoctions. I will cut, paste, grade, spell words with kindergartners, put together lesson plans, organize, comfort, and cheer. These are just some of my little chores, and I really do not mind them. I think that all the little thank yous and hugs I receive in a day contribute to me not minding those duties I perform.

My point is that the smallest gesture of thanks and appreciation is what makes me go on, even on the days I am tired and wondering if I can really clean up one more mess that I didn't make. Receiving that 2 second acknowledgement gives me the energy to do more. Having the positive pointed out and recognized changes everything and in reality I think it can change the world. Little acts of kindness have the biggest impact if we just take those few seconds to do them.

 

 

This Extraordinary Life

I had an epiphany today as I was watching a movie. I realized that I have an extraordinary life. As I watched the hero thank his Creator for providing an extraordinary life, I was almost knocked over with the realization that I  also have that kind of life. I want to let my Creator, my God know I'm grateful for it. The reason it's extraordinary is because life is just that. No matter what I own, where I live, how much popularity I gain and how many things I can cross off my lists, the experiences I am gaining are amazing, because I get to live them. There's a large portion of this earth's population that has never made it to my ripe age of 43, so thus far I'm a miracle. So is any person alive.

In this grand adventure I'm living, I feel blessed to have been able to experience almost every human emotion there is. Not every emotion is a fun one, but knowing what the hard ones are helps me to experience the good ones more fully and gratefully. I've experienced loss so devastatingly bitter and profound that I worried I wouldn't live through it. I've also known the joy of reunion. I've had to beg ones' forgiveness and had to give it as well. I've felt physical pain so acute it took my breath away, but have reveled in the times I am healthy and whole.  I've been betrayed, but found comfort from others who know that feeling themselves. I've experienced a broken heart many times, but found a love with Chad that is passionate,  real, and true, and one that I treasure completely. I've felt the thrill of  success, as well as the disappointment of defeat. I've given birth, I've watched death.  I have felt fear, I have felt exhilaration. Where I have been discouraged, I have found hope. I have lived, I love, I learn. It's been extraordinary, and I thank my God for it.

Woah, never gonna give it up

I'm feeling the pressure cooker that life is, and I see others around me feeling it too. That's okay-life is full of pressures, ups and downs, lessons, and trials. I tend to think there is something to be learned from every situation, good or bad, although there are times it takes much longer to realize the purposes in life's adventures than I want to spend living through the tough spots. What isn't okay is when I see people I love falling down, buckling under the pressures. And then staying down. I hurt for them. Don't get me wrong...I buckle too, and I always have help getting back up. I want everyone to be able to have help in getting back on their feet. And yes, there are crushing, heart-wrenching, horrific experiences in life that are hard to come back from. But  you can. Life is good. It is definitely hard in ways I never dreamed of. But there's goodness.

Something I was shown today is: "Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of life; getting back up is living."

So to all those who are feeling the heat and succumbing to the darkness, don't give up. You can't. There is hope. There is more. There IS light ahead. You are loved. There are people that understand you. There are people who have been through what you are going through. There are good things ahead. There are miracles in every day. You may have to search for all of these things, but sometimes the search itself is WHAT SAVES US. And if all else fails, listen to a great song.

Just a heads-up....This video is slightly weird, but the song is great!

 

But all the possibilities

No limits just epiphanies

I'm never gonna look back

Woah, never gonna give it up

This is gonna be the best day of my life

 

 

‘Cause I’m on top of the world, ‘ay
I’m on top of the world, ‘ay
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ay
Been holding it in for a while, ‘ay
Take you with me if I can
Been dreaming of this since a child
I’m on top of the world.

Judgment Day

I feel like I hear people talking a lot about judging lately. "Don't pass judgment on me~you don't know what I'm going through."  "If you don't agree with  *fill in the blank*  then you're judging."  "I can't be with those people because they judge me."  We throw these phrases around constantly. To judge means to pass sentence or critical judgment on something.  So I think we need to look at whether real judgments are being passed~or if, in fact an opinion is being expressed, a value is being upheld, or if we are just judging ourselves (and projecting our feelings into others behavior). Most of the time, no one is really being judged.

I may not agree with something a person chooses to do. This does not mean that I have judged them~ (handed out a sentence: "He is going to hell for  *fill in the blank* "), called anyone a name, or even said anything critical about them.  I just have an opinion, am adhering to a value I'm upholding, and am choosing a different way to see it. I think so many times we want to vindicate our behaviors that if we call foul on someone else for "judging", we think it somehow justifies our actions (good or bad). It puts the focus somewhere else.

 

The freedom to choose for ourselves is one of the most precious gifts we humans have. The responsibility that lies within what a person chooses to do with that gift lies solely on that person. Whether you think a person is "judging"  you or not is entirely beside the point.  If you make the choice, you'd better darn well be ready for the consequences that come with it. This applies to all choices~ good, bad, or ugly.

 

But if you are questioning your choices, or are wondering about making choices you aren't sure about, here's a novel idea. THINK. Then think again. Think about what you REALLY want, and what you want the end result to be-after the consequences have come. Think of what the consequences will be, and decide if you really want to face them. Think about who you want to be. Think about the people who love you. And think for just a minute...if someone actually does judge you, will you feel good about what you're being judged for? If you don't like the verdict, maybe you shouldn't be doing it. And if you need help, get help. I have learned this hard lesson many times myself. Remember who the real and final (and infinitely merciful) judge will be-and then use your gift of choice as wisely as you can. And be grateful you can choose.

 

 



Appearances Are Deceiving

There is a woman I have encountered off and on for the last 15 years. She is beautiful, has beautiful children, is poised, talented, and organized. She lives in an influential neighborhood and appears to have everything a person could want in a life.

Upon meeting this woman for the first time, I was pleased to have met her, and acted as such. The response I received was not quite as favorable. There was actually virtually no response from her. A slight, imperceptible nod of the head was the extent of it, and I had to really check myself to make sure even the nod was real.

I am a person who gives second chances. (And 3rd, and 4th.......) I usually don't trust my initial impressions because first impressions aren't always the most genuine representation of a person. I think first impressions are very situational, so I like to gain a feeling over a few interactions with a person, instead of just one. (I do, however hold high value in instinct, and follow it if prompted to do so.) At any rate, as I saw this person over the years, I went out of my way to be kind, acknowledge her, and be as cheerful as possible. The response was always the same.

I began to feel the she didn't like me, and I didn't understand why. To be fair, I take a lot upon myself that isn't mine to take on. I absorb blame like a sponge. I waved to her even when passing in my car. I said hi to her often. I saw her at religious functions and she either looked at me as if she were seeing me for the first time, or acted as if she had never seen me before in her life. It drove me crazy.

Eventually I had to come to a place where I just decided I didn't care whether she liked me or not. I had to realize that if she didn't like me, I had done everything in my power to change that. I had tried to be kind. I had done my part. And I let it go.

Tonight I went to a special event that one of the children from my school invited me to. There was a wonderful spirit there and I was absolutely reveling in it. As I sat there, this very woman came in and looked around the (full) room for a seat. There was one by me so I scooted my jacket over and motioned for her to sit down. She did and the event went on. When it came to a break where there was time to talk, I made a comment about the crowd to her. She smiled but said nothing. Not 2 minutes later she started chatting with me~about my life, my children, and my job. She had no idea that we lived by one another (therefore never realizing I had waved at her so many times.) She was so grateful for the job I do at my school and grateful for the things I remembered about her children who have been out of my school for a few years now. I began to think I had misread her. There was a wonderful spirit about her and I enjoyed my time with her. We talked throughout the rest of the evening and when we parted, we hugged and thanked each other for the time we spent together. I came home with a happy heart.  I had been reminded that appearances are indeed deceiving. I was reminded that I don't know what is going on in any other person's life, or  their minds and hearts for that matter. I was reminded that there is good in EVERYONE. I love getting those reminders. I love seeing good. And I am grateful!