Oh For Heck's Sake!😢

Okay. Yes. I'm a crier. I have always been one. I will always be one. A happy crier. A sad crier. A hurt crier. A "thank God I'm okay" crier. An "I love it when children sing" crier. An "I'm scared" crier.  An empathetic crier. Heavens-I cry for and with people I have never met. I cry with the people on TV.  I can be an ugly crier. I'm not ashamed. I freely admit it. It's who I am.

I have to bleach and then re-blue my hair every 6 months to keep it bright. 
The day I bleach I always cry. It makes me feel like I lost my dad all over again.

There have certainly been times in my life when I was made to feel embarrassed or inferior because I cry. I'm sure there are times when crying was not the best response to a situation, but it is automatic for me, and there is rarely any stopping it. I feel. Sometimes I wish I didn't. But as I have stated many times, I'd rather feel than not. I have discussed this with friends. I have some who cry like me, some who refuse to ever cry, and many who are anywhere in between the two.  Whatever your response is, it's okay with me. I know people who laugh when everyone else is crying-because that is their protective response. And that is okay. Some people are stoic..and I have had to be that way before. I am good at the behavior of being stoic, but not always at the response. I may be stoic, but the tears will come if necessary and many times before I even realize what is happening.  And it's okay. It is. What makes me bananas is when people apologize for crying. WHY???????? It's a natural response-a human biological trait that was given to each of us. Why in the world do we apologize for crying like it is a weakness?

To be fair, when we cry, it can look....messy. Facial contortion is probable. We don't like others to see us when we are not in our best forms. But when I see someone crying, it tells me they are truly, completely feeling  their emotions. And that is a beautiful thing. The act of being brave enough to show your vulnerabilities, insecurities, and care for a situation is deeply humbling to me. It makes me feel trusted that I can actually see  you feel. It gives me hope that I can feel in front of you-with no backlash or repercussions. What a wonderfully secure state of being that is. I admire those who can let go enough to actually be themselves and  show that there doesn't have to be a barrier between our reactions and emotions. Tears speak volumes and can portray so many things...needs, desires, love, care, grief, pain, happiness, fulfillment, despair, and hope. There is sincerity that comes with true tears that just can't be conveyed any other way. I'm not saying that if you don't cry, you're not sincere.  It's just  that seeing you embrace those feelings and let yourself cry makes sincerity easily readable for me. It actually gives me the signals I need to react myself, and help you, comfort you, cry with you, or even give you space. I am not very good at the space thing...I am a born comforter and I admit that is the first thing I will try to do-give comfort. But I am trying to learn how to give space!!

On another track, let's examine some health aspects of crying. Most experts agree that a good cry is good medicine. Why? It lets your emotions out so you can purge accumulation of pent up energy and then press on. It actually helps you calm yourself because your body lets down when you release emotion. It's a natural response and one that was built into our bodies as a way to purge and cleanse. It has also been found that while crying is a tool for self-soothing, it also releases oxytocin and endorphins. These are feel good chemicals that our bodies provide. Studies have shown that tears, especially tears from stress (grief, pain, empathy, frustration and hopelessness included), release toxins from the body. Tears re-moisten the eyes, clearing bacteria and dust particles from them as well. Good stuff, right?

"They say that tears are the words your heart can't express."

I'm not here to tell you whether you should cry or not. That's not my call or my judgment to make. That's why we are all individuals. We all handle things in the ways that best suit us, and there are copious ways we do this. What I am saying is that there is no shame in crying. It's natural. We were born doing it. It's a way to express deep things. It's healthy if done in the right doses. It shows trust. It portrays the human component in all of us. I think crying actually makes me stronger. With a good cry every now and then, I can hit reset and charge forward. I won't apologize for crying. If I have to blow my nose in front of you while crying, well...I may say I'm sorry for that. But please, never, EVER apologize for feeling. For sharing your feelings. For being real. For being human. You have the ability. Be grateful.