Pain Management

I  had a doctor tell me once that every human lives with some degree of pain every day. At first it really surprised me, but the more I thought about it, the more I knew he was right. I'm not going to be that person who makes a list of my ailments for you-not for another 50 years, but I have a sizeable yet surviveable list of things my physical body has to get through regularly. It may be that some of that pain lives in hearts and that makes his statement more of a truth to me. As my heart is connected to the rest of me, I do have pain. Every single day. I love. I care.

 

I thought we were done. I thought we had gotten through this part of this trial. Not so. Not yet. Life really is pain. Then there's the pain of being human- of  having a heart and a soul. Sometimes I think heartache is as bad as any pain out there. But there is also hope. I choose to cling to it.

Humans hurt each other. It's a fact of life. It happens every day. Sometimes because of carelessness, sometimes because we feel like we can fix it later, sometimes because we feel we just have to get something off our chests. We assume. We misunderstand. We see the bad instead of the good. We get offended.   We react. I know I have hurt people without EVER intending to. I say the wrong thing. I give the wrong impression. I give the wrong look. I look for the good in people and it looks like I'm defending their actions instead of siding with the one who is worried. I try to give advice that someone doesn't want. I try to give a different viewpoint. I say things out of fear and anxiousness. I know people will make decisions, thinking they are doing the best thing for someone, and then it backfires. I would venture a guess that at least most of the time, most humans never aim to cause pain. It's part of the human condition. We have a hard time understanding each other. We are all different. Our brains connect things differently- brains process in the ways each of us learn best. Our hearts take things literally. And then they hurt.

There is a cure. I have ALWAYS declared that love conquers ALL, and I will vehemently defend this ideal to my dying breath. But forgiveness is the ingredient that assures that love will truly save the day. I know.  I make it sound simple. It's not. But it's achievable. Even the worst heartache can be cured if forgiveness is present.  How can I say that? How can I declare it can happen? All I have to do is remember I SCREW UP TOO. I need forgiveness. It kills me when I don't have it. But because I know I mess up all the time, it helps me to remember that so does everyone else.

Let me give a simple example. Road rage. Wait...I mean road frustration. (That sounds a little softer, doesn't it?) Someone pulls out in front of you, even though there is a mile of empty road behind you, and then they don't even have the courtesy to step on it. Or someone cuts you off in traffic. Or slams on their brakes. Or signals after  the lane change. Do I get frustrated? Well sure. But then I realize I make mistakes too. Maybe ones I never realize I made. Maybe I was distracted or worried and forgot to turn on my blinker and then I made someone else mad. Would I rather be flipped off or have the other person understand that I'm not perfect? I think you know the answer. Besides, when I do get flipped off in traffic, it makes me cry and it takes hours for me to get over being flipped off by someone I don't even know. Any who.....my point is, I need forgiveness and understanding that I am human, so I want to give that gift to others too. I can forgive because I want to be forgiven. I don't want the pain of  the weight that holding a grudge can give. I don't want the turmoil. I don't want the poison. I want freedom. So I forgive. And I ask to be forgiven. Then life holds less pain. Love saves the day. Hope anchors the soul. And I am grateful.