Skeletons In My Closet

We all have them. Skeletons. Inside. Yet people are alarmed and amused that I have picked up an affinity for skulls and skeletons. No apologies here. The more life teaches me, the more I love them, because skeletons and skulls prove that we are all the same on the inside.



Little ole me

And yes, I've got a skeleton inside-
just like you

I mean really...what differentiates us from each other? Mostly outside appearances...and other than the features and bodies we came with, everything else is adornment. Clothes, makeup, jewelry-additions we make to our lives by our own choosing and our own pocketbooks. Even our homes and cars are not representations of who we are. They are additions to our likes and interests, but not really to our souls and minds-our skeletons. We all got here the same way. Born with bodies and skeletons-and hearts, yes our hearts. We are all the same on the inside. Where it counts. So I want to make it count for something good. I want my inside to be prettier than my outside. And while I will continue to make sure I always have mascara and earrings on, and that I wear my skull apparel and fun pairs of shoes, I hope my insides will be more noticeable than what I put on.

Still me

Sugar skulls are my favorite. But I love the whole skeletal system. I love apparel with skeletons-not the bloody, gory, scary ones-but the "bare bones" of our skeletons. They remind me as well that everyone harbors skeletons...inside their closets.  It's kind of a human privilege-a rite of passage to have things we keep behind closed doors-accessible to only those who know us best. Things that have happened to us, things we regret, feelings we can't convey, situations that have hurt us, or things that we have no control over. Those are the ones that eat away at me-the ones I can't control. The past is the past to me, but the things that crop up in the present that I can't change or do anything about are the ones that feel like regrets. Oh, I know we're each going to walk up to the (hopefully) Pearly Gates someday with our little bundles of mistakes and regrets. Those things are a part of life-and one there is no escaping them for anyone, although one would hope a good thing might come from those mistakes. Mistakes are learning material. Realizing you cannot change the past is a very freeing concept. The only thing to do with a mistake is learn from it. I want to put that learning to good use and when I can't it makes me crazy.

A frustration of mine is knowing I am learning, and trying to put what I have learned into practical use, and then being hampered in that endeavor. I always feel a need to pay it forward with the lessons I learn. But there are times I don't get that opportunity. Sometimes it is taken from my grasp. Sometimes I have to show that others are more important to me in that moment..which hurts because everyone who knows me has a part of my heart and I want to share it. But sometimes it's just not the time. Sometimes others have to grow as well, and they are growing at a different rate, or in a different area than I am. Sometimes others are not ready to accept what I have to offer. Sometimes my routes to others not accessible and I have to show patience until I can get to those people again. It's all a balance between learning and sharing, and having the patience to wait until it is right to pay it forward. But it won't stop me from trying.

Grateful for these bones in me. The bones that tie us together as humans. These bones that cage my heart into my chest and that while they protect my heart, it can still be used. And be used for beautiful things. No skeletons in my closet are going to keep me from moving forward-but I sure hope this skeleton in me will keep loving and keep banding people together-because without the adornments we're all just a bag of bones with the chance to make a difference. And I am grateful.