Escape

 

Last week my family and I ran away. We left the state and all our responsibilities behind. None of us were allowed to post on social media where we were. We needed to escape.

We tried this in April during our spring break and things did not work out. Family issues, medical emergencies, and personal traumas kept us from leaving right then, so when we got the chance to "use or lose" this vacation, we were more than ready.

I LOVE flying!

I feel like I have a good life. I have everything I need and pretty much anything that I really want. I am surrounded by good people. I have a wonderful, fulfilling job. I am married to my true love.  I have a darling, loving family. I am blessed. But this world freaks me right out. The issues that surround us right now just absolutely blow my mind sometimes. First there are the media hyped  headlines of human trafficking, public bathroom "rights", deciding which idiot gets to ruin our country after the next election,  whether a gorilla's life is more important than a child's life, the list goes on and on. And humans feed like we are starving, jumping on bandwagons and socially hanging anyone who thinks differently than we do. Then there are our own, personal matters to contend with. Everybody has got their own stuff; sickness, relationships, job stress, money matters....you name it. Find your own problem to fill in the blank. We've all got stuff. Well, I've kinda had it with stuff. Especially the stuff that doesn't need to make it into my box of worries. The stuff that wasn't mine to begin with. The stuff that is none of my business (whether a parent was watching a child closely enough-I wasn't there-it's none of my business to judge that.) So having had enough, I ran, and I took my family with me.

Mustang Convertible? Yes, please!

We had a GLORIOUS time. We focused on family and the incredible things in the world around us. We put our phones down, we took lots of walks, we visited historical sites, we relished our escape. I'm a little blue to be home where the phone is still ringing, things break down, there's not enough time in the day, and not enough kindness in the world. That  makes me want to run away again, but I am still so grateful I got a little break from all those things. It helped recharge my spirit and gave me a little bit of energy to keep moving forward. Now my escape each evening is into my back yard to my little peaceful gazebo where the world can't touch me-at least for a few minutes. It makes me realize that I need to make time to escape more often. Maybe I need to leave that "one last chore" for another day and take time to inhale, so that I can breathe a little better when tomorrow's struggles come at me. Escaping helps me to gain perspective. It helps me to be grateful. Find your escape and use it often. Save your sanity.

Stress Overload

Last night I thought I was having a heart attack. I have heart problems so that may be in the cards for me someday, but it took me by surprise to feel that amount of pain in my chest. Turns out it was a Charlie horse-in the left side of my chest over my heart. I have been doing weights again after taking a few years off from it. I think that's what set it off. But the stresses in my life right now could have done it as well.

Doing Fine and Grateful for it!

EVERY single person I know right now is dealing with huge things. That is life, and the further I get into adulthood, the more I realize that the stresses get bigger, last longer, and keep coming.  After a little melt down in front of my boss today, I was forced to confront the fact that some of the stresses in our lives are self induced. Don't get me wrong, life comes at you fast, and some stuff just happens. Tragedies and trials can just show up out of nowhere and make themselves right at home. Poop happens. That's all there is to it.

There are quite a few times when the unkindness of others causes me great stress. I  pray that I am never that mean person, and if you should ever view me as this way, by all means call me out on it. I will do my best to remedy the situation. For all practical purposes my goal in life is to teach my children that there will always be someone to deal with that is behaving in a way we don't understand, and I will encourage them to take the high road and try to be kind regardless. I will do my best to be a person who is kind and understanding. That being said, the dynamics between people that I care about and people who tend to act mean will continue to stress me out. I'm working on that. And I do concur that "thoughtless" is not the same thing as "mean".

As far as the things we do to stress ourselves out, I think that most of us realize at least some of those things in our lives. Over-scheduling, procrastinating, over-thinking, over-analyzing...that kind of thing. I am good at taking on problems that are not mine and trying to help or figure them out. I have also been known to take a frustration that I have and even though it is not in my control to change it, I let it bug me. These are two of the things that were nagging in the back of my mind while my boss sat there and patiently waited for me to quit babbling and pull myself together. Some of the issues that had me worried today were physical things I am dealing with and big, heavy worries about people in my life that I care about. These were rational things to be worried about, as I care about my health and the well being of others. The other things on my mind were either things that I had agreed to do and was worrying about (over-booking myself) or things that someone higher than myself had the power over, when I had no power over them at all. In other words, I made some of those stresses myself, and the other stresses were not ones I needed to be worried about just then.

I learned a lot today. I will allow that I will probably do the same dumb things over and over again...I am a kind person (a yes-girl as well) and someone who worries about others. But realizing habits will sometimes spark at least a little change that can keep getting bigger if we let it. Hopefully I have started down the road of understanding which stresses to allow myself to carry, and be able to start weeding out the other stuff. Yeah-rrriiiiiiigggghhhtttt.

From the playground, one of my favorite hours of my day.

The silver linings always lead to sunshine.

One last note; in nearly every situation that I was worried about today, I either gained perspective, it worked itself out, someone lent a hand to make it better, or I felt a blessing from Heaven to make the trial a little bit smaller for the time being. I am grateful for the tender mercies through any stress. I hope to be one to someone else during theirs.

No Fair

Life is truly not fair. It's not. The cards we are dealt are not always pretty, not always fun, not what we hoped. Life is good, but not fair for sure.

Two things I try to remember are-a) life has unfairness for every  human being, and b) sometimes the unfairness comes from our own choices and the consequences of them.

The situations of unfairness that seem to weigh on me the most are the ones where people are unfair to each other. There will always be illness, death, natural disasters, and other trials that test the faith of humans. But suffering from someone else's unkindness is something I wish we humans could just move past and learn from instead of perpetuating further unkindness. Sometimes I think it's not even being necessarily unkind, but being completely thoughtless. It is human nature to be a little selfish-overcoming the "natural man" means just that-overcoming the selfishness inside us and caring about the bigger picture. In all fairness, I think some of the naturally occurring bleakness that comes to us arrives because it helps us to forget our selfishness and help others along. But how sad that it takes these instances to be kind.

This week I have felt left out, overlooked, and unappreciated in certain aspects of my life. These are things that every one of us experiences and hopefully we are able to move forward after wallowing for just a minute. The interesting part of this is that for every little prick to my soul, there was someone there to fill in the holes and raise me back up. There were beautiful things given to me through both the written and spoken word in times where I needed it most. I am so grateful for those people in my life who follow the inspiration to help me along at just the right time.

What happens to me whenever I am feeling that life is unfair is that after I have waded through self-doubt and a little self-pity, I ask myself what it is that I need to learn from these situations. Invariably I come to understand that my job in the matter at hand is to turn and lift someone else. When it comes down to it, I want to be a builder. I want to make a difference. I want to bring a good light and a bright side to anything another might be dealing with. This is what we are here for. I am amazed I always come back to this answer because I am known for feeling small and I wonder how just one person can make a difference in something that seems so big, so unfair to another. But then I think that it only takes one person who comes along and makes a difference to me in my big, unfair situations, and I know that at least, that's a start. Carry on.

The Essentials

Hear me out. I swore I would never do this. When essential oils came into "popularity" I didn't want to be a part of it-especially with the big name brands that cost so very much. I was not about to jump on that bandwagon. But I am a believer.

My stash of essential oils-or at least the stash

my husband knows about...

I am a believer that we humans have truly everything we need on this earth. Many maladies can be remedied or helped from the things of the earth. Much of it has been discovered and much of it has yet to be discovered. Remedies come in the forms modern medicine, alternative therapies, nutrition, minerals, vitamins, and so many more things that don't even occur to us to think about. I believe that God has inspired great minds to research and develop drugs that will help mankind overcome disease and injury. He has also inspired ordinary, everyday men and women to just try something to see if it works, and many times it does! My family has explored every avenue in the remedy cabinet for things from anxiety to cold relief to pain relief. We have used over the counter medications, prescription medications, natural supplements, massage therapy, aromatherapy, and many more.

And the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.

Revelations 22:2

 

So when Chad's company quite literally pushed an alternative medicine plan on us, and I was able to try a specific brand of oils at a fraction of the cost, I went for it. Now, we have always used aroma therapy in our home. Lavender is one of our staples for sleep and calming. Eucalyptus, camphor and peppermint have always aided us in our many respiratory afflictions. So I began devouring information about oils, mixing them, the best ways to use them and incorporate them into our lives. ***I do not believe there is one answer or cure all for anything or any one. But I do believe that the combination of modern medicine and natural practices can make our lives easier.***

So I am a self proclaimed chemist-in the art of oils anyway. I am a nerd. I am teased for it. But I am good at it. I can't absorb enough information on the way these things of the earth can work together for good. I have read entire resource books in a matter of days and mixed oils for my friends and family. These oils have aided headaches, colds, asthma, cramps, anxiety, insomnia and more. I have found a friend in them and learned to rely on them in many situations. The best part is that I have not experienced a side effect yet!

Then our insurance company dropped the alternative medicine portion of our plan and I was lost. And I cannot (will not) afford that one brand, even though I loved it when I used it. I think highly of those oils and anyone who offers them, but I had to find something easier on my checkbook.

I am not one to tout other companies very often, especially on my blog. But after a little anxiety and much research I have found a wonderful company that produces quality products for good prices with many sales. Though I am not going to specifically name them, I will specifically link them from here so that if you wish to give the oil world a try, there will be an easy route from here. I recommend them and enjoy their products regularly. So there you have it, my one blog about the essentials!

http://www.pipingrock.com/?rwcode=AABFPH

Cry Baby Cry

Last week as Meghan and I were driving home from South Ogden, we came upon a wreck. The rescue vehicles were arriving at the scene, traffic was slowing down, and people were starting to gawk and try to get a better look. Me? I burst into tears. It had already been a long, but good day.

A day of shopping and heart to hearts.

We had spent the day with Cassie and had a great time, but we had also had some melt downs and heart to hearts. More of that in a moment. The fact stands that whether I had already had a full day or not, I would have cried. I am always grateful that I wear sunglasses because I cry at wrecks, and many, many other emotional times for other people. Not because I know the people or know what happened, but because I feel FOR the people, and HOW they must be feeling right then. Scared, hurt, bewildered...I run the gamut and feel each feeling for the other human beings involved. I am told this is empathy. I have loads of it, and this is supposed to be a good quality. Sometimes I hate having so much of it.

I have always worried about things, but I mostly worry about other people. I worry about the things others are going through, and how they must feel facing these things. When my father-in-law had his heart surgery, I couldn't sleep. I felt anxiety and fear for him. I felt HIS worry. When a person loses a loved one, I feel the emptiness that comes with loss. When a person cries, I always end up crying too. This has been something I have been made fun of for, but I seriously cannot help it. The crying is automatic. You can be someone I have never seen in my life, crying on TV and I will cry right along with you. I hurt for you and with you. When it comes from someone I know and love, it gets ridiculous how much I can feel. The day of the wreck, I had been consoling Cassie over her change in jobs that was coming immediately. I know God has great plans for her and has lined up wonderful things for her future, just as He always has, but in that moment, the loss of her latest job was heart-wrenching and a little bit of a blow to her self-esteem. She loves so much the family that she has been working for, and to see past that love to something new was almost more than she could take that day. SO we all cried-a lot. Then I came home and worried and cried some more. And slept less. And worried through her last day of work. Then cried some more with her after she bravely said goodbye.

My two girls.

And so I may always cry....Empathy. The world doesn't have enough of it. Sympathy-sometimes yes, empathy most of the time, no.

Sympathy means feelings or impulses of compassion.

Empathy means the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

When it comes right down to it, I think empathy is a gift. Sometimes it is hard to bear, but when I really need to share it with someone who needs it, I am glad I am able to. Understanding what someone is feeling because you can feel it too is a blessing, and sometimes a curse, but I know it is one of the gifts I need to give, and do it willingly. Can you imagine how different our world would be if we could feel pain for others? It wouldn't take long for us to understand each other better, would it? Find your empathy, use it freely, let it become your super power if you will. It's a game changer.

Sweet Somethings

I was going to start out by apologizing for the cute stories I continue to share instead of hunkering down for a heartier, thought-provoking piece, but I realize that there is so much seriousness in the world that sometimes the lighter side of things really is more meaningful than a well written, soul stirring speech. So may I add sweet somethings to your life and hope you have received just as many on your own throughout the day.

A couple of weeks ago I put a purple/red/brown streak in my hair. I have had every reaction from avoidance to "How are you going to walk into church like that?" to "I love it!" to "Is that your wicked streak showing?" to "Your hair is so cool!"  I love it myself. I have wanted to do something like this for a long time, and I really, really wanted to make it blue...but I thought I'd let others get used to color in my hair before I go for "truly shocking". I am happy with it, and so is my family, so beyond that, everything else is just entertainment. 

Miss Heather's "wicked streak"

The day I dyed my hair, we had a snow/lightning storm. The next day when the kids asked me if I had dyed my hair, I told them I had been struck by snow-lightning and given super powers. They asked what my super powers were and one of the boys piped up, "Taking care of kids, of course!" It melted me. Their continued discussion of my hair gets better every day.

This was the conversation in kindergarten today:
Boy- "Did you see Miss Heather cut her hair and put a red streak in it?"

Girl- "Yeah! It's cool! I think she wants to turn into Black Widow or something." I've never felt so cool in my life!

Last week one of my really shy boys came up to me, eyes huge, with his hands cupped around his mouth and whispered loudly, "Miss Heather! I have an enormous secret to tell you! Have you ever seen Indiana Jones?"  Of course I told him I had and waited with anticipation to see what was so eye-poppingly important and leaned closer to hear the news..."Heather.....Indiana Jones is HAN SOLO!!!" His poor little mind was just blown!

 

During a rather trying reading group I had just given my kids a new set of word cards to sort. The vowels has changed from last week's "u" words to "o" words. One of my little girls picked up a card that said "POP" and was supposed to place it with words that corresponded to the "op" ending (top, mop, bop etc.)  This cutie leaned over to her neighbor and whispered, "Does this say poop?" The boy next to her said, "No, I'm pretty sure it says pop." Unconvinced she said, "Are you sure? It just looks like it says poop." "Oh, I'm sure," said the boy. "I know how to spell poop. The password for my Minecraft game is "poopoo." I laughed for way longer and way harder than I had a right to!

A letter I received from a sweet little kinder.
" To Mrs. Heather. Your hair is colorful. I love you
Mrs. Heather. Love you."

Last but not least, my birthday is tomorrow. The kids were guessing how old I will be and the final answer rendered by my kinders is a whopping 36. I reality I will be 46, but this gave my self esteem a fun little boost today. I asked why they think I am 36. "Well, to have cool hair you can't be over 40!"  MADE MY DAY!!! Hope your day has given you little boosts as well. Be grateful! There is still good. Even when it seems it only comes from 5 year olds. I declare it is everywhere.

May the Mass Times Acceleration Be With You

In anticipation of the upcoming week, I offer fun, light, wit and renewal. I need all of the above. Life is kicking me in the shorts and then standing on me. I need a boost to move forward. May you draw the strength you need from whatever force incites the best good to shine from you.



Best "show of force" ever

A child at school walked up to me on the playground and saw that someone had made me a tinfoil rose. Wanting to show his generosity as well,  he offered me his brand new pencil that he'd just earned. As he turned away from me, he noticed the other playground lady nearby. He came back to me and said, "Miss Heather, I see that you already have a gift and Miss Kari doesn't have one. Would it be alright if I took that pencil back and gave it to her?" I said of course. He waved the pencil around like a wand and said, "Good. She needs to be able to conjure a patronus!"

In my church class last week, someone was explaining prophets and apostles to the children. He was holding up pictures of our prophet, Thomas S. Monson, and asking who the rest of the men were who help the prophet. One of my kiddos was trying to figure out the answer and a child behind her whispered, "The Apostles". Giddy to answer, my kiddo yelled out, "The old fossils!"

At Christmastime I was giving a lesson in church to my little four year olds about the Nativity.  I let the children act this out using my Little People nativity. I got to the part with the wise men and asked one of my little girls, "Do you know what gifts the wise men gave to Jesus?" And to my utter delight she said, " Well, I think they gave him gold, silver, and makes no sense." (frankincense) It was the cutest version of the gifts I have ever heard.

Especially for tomorrow-Pi day

Before I married Chad (who now does our finances) I would get frustrated that my checkbook balance never lined up with my statement. He asked me what I did when that happened. I told him I just start a new line that says NEW BALANCE and go from there. It bewildered him, but now in our house when things get crazy and we need new perspective, we just yell "New Balance"......and get ready to go again.

I do remember that life IS good and there so many little gems in each day. The people that surround me do me much good. I am grateful that the things that stress me and run me down can be counteracted by kindness and even humor.

Light is what I'm looking for. If you are reading this, my wish is that you find yours. Even if it's a little bit to keep you going every day. Oh, and may the force be with you!