Commercial~ISN'T

What is Christmas? What is it to you? What brings you Christmas joy? Me? Just to name a few things...



Temple Square Tabernacle after my wonderful brother-in-law's Christmas recital.

My beautiful Buddy the Elf-spreading Christmas cheer

A gift from one of my kindergarteners-"it's a
candy cane...all you have to do is add red stripes!"

My little Christmas gazebo

I love this time of year. I'm sure anyone who knows me knows this is true. I revel in every single aspect of it. But I acknowledge that sometimes this most wonderful time of the year brings stress, fatigue, loneliness and even dread to some. It actually brings out the bah-humbug in some of the best of otherwise happy, light-giving people. While I understand that there is true loneliness around the holidays, I have a hard time wrapping my head around the less desirable feelings about Christmastime...the dread-ism, bah-humbug-ism, stress-ism, and most of all the perceived  "commercialism".  That one I just do not get.

I'm not trying to be insensitive. I think commercialism is a word that somebody made up to express frustration about companies wanting the consumer's money. Then the consumer glommed onto it and made it an issue. It doesn't have to be. Commercialism, like so, so many other things in life, is a choice. Your choice.

There are so many things we think Christmas needs to be; a time filled with activities, gifts, people, shopping, treats, programs, events, and...dare I say it...perfection. These things can be good, wonderful, joy rendering things...until we get carried away with these expectations and soon the stress of having to produce this kind of perfection gets to be a little much. Add to that the idea of "commercialism" and you have a wonderful time of the year gone bad. But you can fix this. You can be joyful.

I don't buy into the idea of commercialism. Yes, companies want your money. No, you don't have to give it to them, even under the guise of needing the "perfect gift." I choose time with loved ones, I choose thought over price, I choose heart over expectations, and I even choose thoughtfulness over perfection. It lends me much more time to enjoy the season. And I can assure you I do enjoy it!

May I suggest that when you see the lights, revel in the magic. When you see the displays, marvel at the time that went into creating a visual statement of happiness. When you hear the songs, be tickled by the charm of a happy tune, or the reverence of a tribute to baby Jesus. When you see the jolly man in a red suit, be grateful he teaches not about presents, but about giving and loving. The true meaning of Christmas. Giving, sharing, loving with the light that came with you as part of your package. Letting God's light shine through you.

Commercial-ism? How about commercial-ISN'T? Find the joy in that.

And in case you haven't found the joy yet...watch this!

http://www.mormontabernaclechoir.org/content/motab/en/videos/we-wish-you-a-merry-christmas-sesame-street-santino-fontana.html?cid=social_20151223_56598666&adbid=10154696636958868&adbpl=fb&adbpr=19919948867

Patience, Little One

I have been pondering the meaning of patience for quite some time. With each day that passes, the word patience grows in meaning and in my understanding. Talking with my wise child, Meghan has also provided me with some amazing insights. The concept of patience involves so much more than I can even now comprehend. It is huge. It plays a major role in our lives and in our progression.

I was one of those girls who thought I would be married right out of high school. It took a few years past that

to land this treasure of a husband.The wait for this wonderful guy brought me the joys of this family of mine.

Credit for this lettering:
http://www.kdelap.com/
http://www.kdelap.com/blog/2014/3/19/airport-delay

I used to think that patience was all about waiting; in a line, for a blessing, to gain something, until temper passes... patience is so much more.  Waiting is hard. Our culture has taught us to hate waiting even more than our little human brains already did.  We want the driver ahead of us to hurry, for the internet page to open faster, for the person we just texted to respond. Simple, simple things. What about the bigger things? What about a waiting for a diagnosis, and then a prognosis? How about finding a companion when all of your friends are married and having kids? What about watching someone you love suffer and praying for the agony to stop? There are some whoppers we have to wait for.

I think that patience builds faith. I will say right now that I am not a fan of having my faith built through patience, but I am always grateful on the other end of the waiting that I could get something out of it. Part of my problem is that I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES. I have seen so many of them, from the smallest of them right on up to the cancer removing, tumor disappearing, breathing restored doozies. I know miracles happen every single day, and because of them, I kind of expect them. God does grand things with His own power and also through the use of His angels on earth and otherwise. So I look for His miracles often.

While I know that there are instant miracles, I am learning that there really are things we have to wait for. God has to line so many things up. He has to send messages to all the people involved in a miracle, and many of us don't listen as well as we should. There are so many things that humans can learn while waiting for something-anything to happen. That is where the learning part of patience comes in. Patience is waiting for something-but dealing with what comes in the meantime. It is not losing hope and still finding miracles in the every day things. Patience is doing your best no matter what the outcome will be. Patience is accepting that someone else is in charge, that sometimes people don't change, and that many times if they do change, it takes longer than we wish. Patience is making the most of your time, and the best of your situation. It is accepting change. It is enduring to the end. It is understanding that you may not get what you wish, and moving forward anyway. Patience takes a lifetime to learn and put into practice, and I'm not sure we can learn the whole lesson of it in mortality. Part of patience is acceptance that this is how things are, at least for now.  That's hard. Knowing things can be fixed or healed or worked out or solved, but then having to accept that maybe that isn't the plan this time...now that is patience. Then realizing you have to put in some effort too...it' all part of this grand thing we call life. 

I have a long way to go. I will always look for and ask for the miracle first. But I am trying to trust that good comes out of EVERY situation, and hope that in the midst of my learning patience I can find some joy in doing so.

Skipping Thanksgiving

I am going to admit something. I used to be a person who waited until after Thanksgiving to decorate for Christmas. Listening to Christmas music is another story but I waited to decorate for the first years of my marriage. Two things happened to change that.

The first thing that happened was that my family fell in love with Disneyland at Christmas. We love to go the week after Thanksgiving. The first year we went to Disney I waited until we got home to get Christmas ready. I was behind the rest of the season. It completely overwhelmed me to get ready after a big trip. So now I do a little at a time for a few weeks before Thanksgiving so that after Thanksgiving dinner we are ready to sit back and take in every moment of the Christmas Season without any worry about being ready. We get to live in every moment of Christmas and we love it. It is absolutely wonderful to me that Thanksgiving goes so perfectly with Christmas and that we get to experience joy, gratitude, love, hope, wonder and awe in two holidays that tie so perfectly together. And amazingly enough we never skip Thanksgiving. EVER!

 

 

The second thing that happened was 9/11; that horrible, soul-shaking, heart-breaking event that changed our sense of safety and tranquility forever. We went to Disneyland that November. We were scared to go, scared to fly, scared of evil people and what they might do. There was a somber feeling across the nation and a desperate need of hope. We needed some joy. So I started putting some up in my home....along with my turkeys and cornucopias. We put up wreaths, listened to songs of a glorious child being born to the Earth, put up our Nativity and celebrated the hope of good things and good people while we were overwhelmed with absolute gratitude at what we have been blessed with as a family. We celebrated Thanksgiving to the hilt and rode all those feel good moments on into the Christmas season.We found more joy. We loved it, we felt closer as a family and we shared our joy with everyone we could find.

 

I've said before that I don't care when you decide to celebrate, or decorate, or enjoy your own Christmas traditions. I feel that is such a personal thing. But I am amazed at the anger that is unleashed over people who embrace the whole holiday season and don't feel there has to be a grace period between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I want EVERYONE to enjoy their own holiday season however they see -or should I say FEEL fit. Worrying about whether others are skipping Thanksgiving because they find joy in the whole experience only takes away from your Thanksgiving-your feelings of joy and contentment. That's something I  don't want to give away to anyone. The stores are going to put out their decorations, people are going to do their shopping and when you think about it there really aren't Thanksgiving carols to play over the pa systems...I don't see that changing. So I let  the wonders and marvels of every song, decoration, sentiment and feeling into my soul. I let the magic of kindness, giving, gratitude, love for mankind and the miracle of a Savior give me peace. Then celebrate every single happy moment I can instead of letting "commercialism" eat away at my heart. It brings me a sense of respite, it gives me calm, it feeds my need for joy and BONUS: I am ALWAYS prepared for Christmas. Let the joy in. It's wonderful-I promise!

Ooey Gooey Mush

I spent 2-1/2 hours at Instacare today. Then I spent an hour and a half at the pharmacy. Good thing I took the whole day off work, huh?

Every year around this time I get sick. My body usually decides around the end of October that its walls of defense have crumbled against all the little viruses I get exposed to in my school of 600 cute but potential carriers. This year I felt I was doing quite well. I have had a cold for about 16 days running now. I lose my voice about every 3rd day but other than that it has been pretty mild and bearable. But I can't get well. So after a sleepless night I buckled under and headed into the doctor. They were swamped and then some. But I was extremely grateful for the time my doctor took with me once I got in there. He was kind and thorough and as I was leaving he thanked me for working with children. He apologized for the fact that I haven't been well but told me how much it meant to parents to have good people looking after their children every day. I was so honored to be able to be the recipient of his thanks, and so grateful he took the time to talk to me.

Turns out that this lingering cold has damaged my vocal cords and that is why I am in pain and constantly losing my voice. And I am supposed to limit the use of my voice while the steroids kick in-until Monday. Did I mention I work at an elementary school? I have a barrage of prescriptions and a multitude of thanks for the goodness I experience regularly. It helps offset the less enjoyable moments in life. As I sat there waiting for my prescriptions I reflected on a few instances filled with goodness that I've seen in the last 24 hours. I offer them as a little mush to soak into your heart, to make it warm and happy.

Just over the counter I listened to a pharmacist make a phone call. He was on the phone for a good half hour with a customer. He was kind and patient, and trying to help her find any way he could to help her afford her medications. He went through plans, prescription programs and rewards with her and had them printed for her if she wanted to come look them over more thoroughly. I am sure he didn't have that kind of time with the amount of traffic that was coming in, but I was impressed and touched by his efforts and kindness.

Yesterday on the playground a sweet boy whom I have mentioned in my blog before came running up to me. When we see kids doing good things we give them a little paper that says they were "caught being good". When they have collected several, they can trade them in for a prize, or just pay money to get the prize. This boy had saved up 10 caught being goods for 3 weeks and had enough to "buy" a little eraser. He was so excited and so proud of it. Not a minute later a little girl came to me in a panic because she had lost the last quarter she needed to buy her eraser. She was teary and sad. I watched this boy  walk up to her, put an arm around her and hug her tears away. He took his brand new eraser that he had worked so hard for and gave it to her without a second thought to what he was losing. He told her, "It's okay. This is yours now. No need to be sad anymore. I have made it okay." It was all I could do not to cry. I told this boy how wonderful it was that he had been so generous. He said, "Well, she was sad. I am a good boy. I needed to make her happy again."

Little miracles created from big hearts. Oh how I love it. Ooey gooey mush. It makes the world right and it makes me so grateful.

*PS-I have to admit that I took it upon myself to make things right for this boy. I gave him enough more caught being goods to get himself an eraser. His generosity deserved much more than that.

I Assume

We all do it.  Every last one of us, every day. Sometimes it's a good thing, and sometimes it takes a bad turn. We assume.  The human condition makes it so.

Most of the time our assumptions are innocent. They are a reaction. They are the effects of assessment.

When at a stop sign,  we assume other traffic will obey right of way rules and all will go well. We assume the best, and for the most part it suits us well to think that way.  But once in awhile,  the assumption is wrong, and it costs. Hopefully just a dent in the fender, but it could be so much more.

Many of our assumptions are made in great faith. For instance I assume that the donut I'm about to eat is going to taste heavenly, that the person my child is spending the evening with  is a kind, mature (enough) friend that my child will come home undamaged and whole, that my boss values what I do enough to continue to give me a paycheck each month, that the employee at the check out stand will be cheerful and treat me well as a customer. We assume most people are good, or at least have good in them. All good things to assume. Assuming the best instead of the worst can be a virtue.

Then there are the things that maybe we shouldn't assume. These things are harder to give examples of because assumptions can be personal, they can come with feelings, and there are sometimes valid reasons supporting many assumptions. Usually a past experience comes into play somewhere along the way. But relationships are a place where caution needs to be used when assuming. And relationships are where we tend to assume the most often. When you love someone it is natural to want to see the best in them. It is also easy to come down the hardest on them.

I find when I am questioning where I stand with someone, that is when I am the most likely to assume the worst-not about the person but about what they feel about me. It's a horrible feeling to wonder where you stand in the heart of someone you care about. Keeping this in mind, I don't want anyone else to feel that way. I am pretty open about my feelings and my love for others. Then there's no question. But if there is, I hope I am approachable enough to be asked. And most likely I love you. I guarantee I can see the good in you. And absolutely I can be convinced of the best in you-by you and the things that you do.

Whaaaattttt?

Look at our world. Look at the headlines! Actually, don't. They are for the most part downright depressing. Catastrophic events, corrupt leaders, dishonesty, families falling apart....I'd better stop now. It's crazy. We need some good.

There is good. It's usually buried in obscure pieces of news, and tiny corners of the written word. As far as the media is concerned, it's not worth reporting because it's not sensational enough. I think good is right under our noses. Good is still all over the place, we just don't get to see and hear all of it that goes on every day. But we need to. We need good. We need happy. We need kind. We need light.

So why, how, what the heck....I hear complaints that....wait for it....it's truly going to shock you- "There are people who are TOO nice." WHAT the heck?

Some call it being naïve. Some think if you're happy all the time you've got to be fake. Me? I think it's amazing. I think it's brave, I think it's possessing a divine attribute.

I think it is a grand thing to find a person who can keep being nice in the midst of the things that life can dish out. It's amazing to me when people can stay positive no matter what is going on in the world and even more importantly their own homes and families. The person who can smile through the pain and help others through theirs is a saint,  period. Someone who is kind when they have been hurt? The epitome of grace and charity. Sometimes being happy is the furthest thing from a person's mind, but to find kindness and share it no matter what is one of the things we are here to learn. Not complaining when there's plenty to complain about? Try it for a day. See if you can do it. That takes grit, strength and integrity. Finding light in the darkness? Joy in the drudgery? Delight in the simple things? Good things in my book. Nice qualities. Nice things to be around. Nice, just nice!

SO no. You can't be too nice. In a world like this where nice can keep even one person going, there's no such thing as being too nice. Keep bringing it nice people! Because I NEED NICE. And I will be grateful.

 

Who Cares?

I slept in today. Chad went to work at 4:30 this morning and when he came home, we both went back to bed and this family slept until well after lunch time. It has been one of those weeks. I am so grateful that last weekend was peaceful and recharged me physically, spiritually and mentally or I might not have made it through this week. Each one of us is exhausted to the core on every level possible. But we are grateful we have had each other to come home to each night. So grateful I have a sanctuary full of people I love to return to each day. It makes literally everything worth it.

Mi familia~ mi vida
My family~my life

I love my life. It is rich and full and I have so much goodness in each day. But like everyone else, I experience stress, worry, exhaustion, heartbreak and all the other emotions that are not as much fun to handle. I have really had to look for joy in my life with all the stressors affecting me like they are. My "inappropriate" heart is being really inappropriate in handling the chaos. The week began with worrying about my father and the fact that his home dialysis is not working for him.  In the midst of a remodel that I instigated but is throwing off my groove, family members in the ICU and trying to find the healthiest routes to keep them alive, intense work stress for Chad and me, and all the other day to day instances that give extra worry, I have had to stop every single day and start naming the things that are blessings and joys in my life. I am happy to report that there have been many things to count. I am grateful for the people who care.



Painting, patching, ripping up carpet, redoing stairs....
and getting ready for new carpet on Friday.


I read something along the lines of "You know who your true friends are by who is there for you when things are bad." I agree to a point. I have never expected my friends to come flying to my side when I am having a rough time. Just knowing they are my friends is enough for me. Knowing I am loved, or even thought of will get me through most any situation that is in any way hard. On Monday morning one of my fourth graders brought me a pair of Halloween earrings she had made for me, just because she was thinking of me. On Tuesday morning I woke up to the sweetest text from a dear friend of mine, just reminding me that she loves me. On Wednesday one of my dear friends picked up Meghan and took her to Young Womens for me, making sure Meghan knows SHE is loved in the process. A wonderful family kept me updated on how their daughter who we have been praying for is doing. My boss was extremely kind in hearing this latest installment of stress, and told me to do whatever I needed to in taking care of those I love. Yesterday another dear friend texted me while she was  on the way to California to see how my sister in ICU is doing. I have been told prayers are being said for my sister, my dad, and my family. That is absolutely humbling and heart-warming. I feel loved. That's all I need.

My new earrings

I know that life is stressful. We all have our "stuff". You might be going through your own, completely oblivious to what I am going through, and vice versa. I hope you know I love you even when I am not "there" for you. You're in my heart always and I pray for you no matter where you are in your life. And I'm grateful you pray for me no matter where I am in mine. That's what matters.

Thanks for loving me, for being a part of my life, and for letting me know you care. Thanks for being the angel that whispers to me in the right place and at the right time. I love it that we can all share the joy in caring for each other. I love my peeps. And I am ever so grateful!