Life is full of bumps and hardships. The good things are just a bonus. Getting through the muck in one piece can be hard. There are times it feels the world is just "spewing crap"....to coin the phrase of an acquaintance from India who was visiting and talking about our country. (And let me tell you, hearing him say this in his native accent was one of the greatest things I have ever heard. We still talk about it in our house to this day.) I get it. Politics, division, the (new) C word that makes me want to vomit because I have heard it so much (and YES, we have all had it, been through it, and come out the other side. I realize not everyone is so lucky.) Vaccinations, earthquakes, windstorms of epic proportions, mandates, divorce, arguments, not being able to get medical care for something that is NOT the C word. Human trafficking, injustice, name-calling if you don't side with the latest band-wagon, closures, job loss, depression, lies and cover-ups, riots, snowstorms that dump 5 feet and leave people in Japan stranded for over 40 hours on freeways. 40HOURS!!!!!!!!! Travel bans, loss of loved ones from the C word, loss of loved ones NOT from the C word. Shouting matches, shaming, "catching" people with phones and telling on neighbors...I know. Sounds like an apocalypse movie. Do I have your attention? Do you relate to any of those things? Wanna know best part, or actually the WORST part is in dealing with all this? We have been having to do it in isolation-without human touch, or even human expression, because now our expression is hidden. We don't even look at each other as we pass in the store. We are hidden. Some people, who were already lonely, are experiencing so much more isolation than we even grasp. It crushes my soul. The need to protect is real, but human touch is proving to be a greater need sometimes. I have a friend who died. Not from the C word. Her worst fear was never hugging her children again. And her worst fear was realized. She had not hugged her children for over 10 months when she passed away, alone, in her own home. Heart wrenching, no matter how it is handled.
I have myself only experienced some of those things, along with my own tricky trials. But I hate being alone. I hate loneliness, and we have created a world of perpetual loneliness. When I am alone with my thoughts, sometimes things feel worse than they really are.
I am not going through trials while everyone else in the world sails on. The cross to bear is quite heavy for all. When you throw your own personal issues in, it gets real. Health, relationships, grief, money, time....it's a lot. Then there are the demons that haunt all of us. Why can't we shut the door on those and let them be done? I can't tell you the answer to that. We cling to our demons like a lifeline when we should be cutting the cord and then decimating them with a fervor that is unmatched. I have been successful in getting rid of some of my demons this year, if only because there has been way too much time to think. But the time gave me pause to think and work on some of those ghosts and lay them to rest. It also took the help of heaven and inspired words from those around me. It does feel good to have slayed some of those things that have haunted me through the years. There are more. There always are. So I soldier on. But as to an answer for how to put all of them to rest, well...let me know if you find a solution. The only thing I can say is sometimes it gets to a point when you don't just realize, but embrace and actually accept that the past is truly the past, and it is in your rear view mirror. You CANNOT, and I stress this CANNOT change the past. Once you realize this, slaying some of the demons becomes a tiny bit easier. So there's a glimmer of hope to grab on to. Hope it helps a bit.
All in all, when it comes down to it, life is hard. No one has an easy road, even if it looks that way. Somehow, in many ways, humans have to experience the whole gamut of emotions and feelings. While it is not fun, one thing that holds great value that trials can produce is empathy. Sympathy is wonderful, but it produces bandwagons and followings that aren't always understood, and it feels great to belong to a cause and care. True empathy-feeling what another feels and experiencing things that someone else has produces an entirely new level of compassion and strength that you cannot get any other way. And while none of our experiences are exactly the same-how could they be....we are individuals... there are enough factors that can be similar enough to affect stirrings in our souls that say "I have been there. Lean on me, because I understand how you feel." NOT I know how you feel, but I understand. That creates love on a whole new level. And then you have evolved, and improved yourself in ways that we are meant to in this test called life. Progress is never all at once, and sometimes it is unbearably slow. But it can remain steady if we let it. That doesn't mean there won't be interruptions here and there. But in reality, none of us are happy if we aren't moving somewhere-and we are meant to move FORWARD. No one likes going backwards, while ruts and standstills are just as defeating. I have found the key in continually moving forward is knowing it won't be perfect. And understanding that every small movement forward is cause for joy. Every happy moment, every tiny blessing, every smile, every feel-good moment needs to be treasured and stored away so when we hit those ruts we have something to sustain us. Obviously having peeps and a village can add tremendously to our successes, so treasure those people and let them help you. Let them give you perspective and hope and bits of wisdom. I promise the hole will not seem nearly as big or oppressive if you gather your village and treasure each moment while looking to improve one tiny thing in the world around you. It ripples out. It makes a difference, and makes us crave more of the goodness, perpetuating all things good. Yes, even amidst the bad. 2021 has every potential to be better. And I am grateful.
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