The Past.....is just that

The past month has given me much to think about with the passing of loved ones and all the other happenings that crop up in a life.  I have waxed very philosophical in recent days.

Many things affect a life, the past being one of them. But there is only one way the past should affect a human life. The past is there to teach us. That's it. It should not haunt us or define us. The past is just that . Who we are, what we do, and what we make of ourselves begins now, and has nothing to do with what we did, but the information we have from what we did helps us to know what to do next.

This is a very simple concept, but for some reason there are many of us humans that cannot get beyond the fact that you can't change the past. There is no going back. Yet we repeatedly go over our scenarios and beat ourselves up over them. No amount of reliving them will ever change what they are. No amount of self-flagellation will turn them into something else.

Now I know this will come as a huge surprise to many, but I was once very immature and made dreadful mistakes and misjudgments. Okay, maybe I still get immature and mess up, but I like to think I have grown from my experiences. I quite like who I have become. I am a wife and mother, a friend and neighbor, a dental assistant and paraprofessional in education. I know how to work hard, I learn quickly, I am a good listener, and a great empathizer. I am responsible, I love to care for others and help where I can. I finally like myself, and it has taken a lot of work to get here. But bring up my past, and I feel like a guilt-ridden, insecure, ready to fail person that I thought I was as a teenager. I immediately retreat to who I was, not who I AM. The paradox in this is that I have always been a good, kind, caring person, but I made mistakes that forced me into decisions that were life-altering and painful. But ones that I cannot change, no matter how desperately I want to. It has been brutal to live with my past. Pain from loss never leaves a person. You never get over it. You learn how to live with it. And even when the sun peeks over the hills to brighten the situation, the pain is still a very present component. But oh have I learned. I have learned to love deeper, I have learned to be strong, I have learned how to give. I have learned who to depend on, and where true strength lies, and that I do have strength beyond what anyone else can see in me. I have learned that the things I have experienced may help someone else, and that is invaluable.

To coin a very overused phrase, I have learned that when it comes to the past, I have to let it go. My baggage doesn't need to weigh me down, but the fact that I traveled can build me up.

Because as of this minute, and then the next, and the next, I can decide who I am. And what happened just a minute ago is in the past. I am going to leave it there, and be grateful.

****Please read the next blog entry that goes with this piece- Amendment. http://paisleyglasses.blogspot.com/2015/07/amendment.html
I'm hoping it will tie in well to this one.****