STUCK

Have you ever felt like the universe is out to get you? I try to believe otherwise but sometimes I have to wonder.  This week has been full of roadblocks for almost everything I have wanted to accomplish. The first few things I took in stride.  The next round had me puzzled but still determined. Next came laughing. Now I'm just frustrated.

Because my days have not gone as planned I ran around like a madwoman this morning trying to catch up on all the chores that were neglected  on account of all the nonsensical   elements that messed with my schedule this week.  I pulled a load of laundry of of the dryer this afternoon, and in leaning down I completely jacked my back out of whack. I said "dang it!"...but not in exactly those words. It takes A LOT to get me to say those words. I was done.  In more ways than one. My back was kinda the last straw.

Weeks like this get me wondering if all these experiences are part of just life or if there is a deeper meaning to things that go wrong. I'm a great believer that God doesn't waste a stroke.  But I also think He lets us live and make our own decisions. I think that as He gave us agency, He lets us experience things because it helps us grow.  I know I gain empathy each time I go through something hard or uncomfortable (or painful). I admit I'm a person who would love it if life was just happy and easy and everyone got along all the time.  I don't like having to go through anything distasteful  but I am grateful I can gain something useful from the hardships  in life.

So as I lay here with Doterra oils and a heating pad on my back, I am searching for meaning in the seemingly random bits of  "that really didn't need to happen" moments I've been introduced to this  week. I really have felt empathy for all individuals who are incapacitated in any way. As I can't move I am taking the time to blog after putting it off for weeks. I'm a little worried because I have to go back to work tomorrow, so I guess laying here is giving me lots of time to ponder and fret, but at least I have time to do it. I'm usually running so fast I can't process anything so by having to rest in one place today my organization skills are getting a workout even if my body isn't. I have recalled with fondness the peaceful and rewarding moments I've had this week, and am grateful I have those good things to cling to. I appreciate the times when I do feel capable and whole and my body works as it should. And I guess if realizing those things are the meaning in meaningless things,  they aren't so meaningless after all.