Inspired

Almost exactly 2 years ago, I was at Disneyland with my family. We love this time of year, and being at Disney only enhances the magic. We love it! I remember looking at Chad and then at my girls and thinking, "Wow! Life is good right now." And then that nagging little voice in the far reaches of my mind said, "I wonder how long we can keep this going. What's next?" I find that every time I notice that life is going well and that the bumps are relatively small, I feel I jinx myself! I find myself wondering if I could keep the trials at bay if that little voice would just shut up, or if the natural order of things demands that the next trial presents itself whether the voice speaks up or not. I tend to believe that life IS a trial and the quiet, peaceful joyful and even uneventful times in life are just a bonus that we can acknowledge as blessings... or not. I think the way we choose to look at joy will carry us over the bumpy times.

Well, within a week of that magical trip I found out I was dealing with an Ovarian Cancer issue. Just the C word is daunting, but many issues in life are just as seemingly insurmountable to us frail humans. I was blessed to come through this ordeal relatively healthy and only somewhat physically altered (less one ovary) but significantly changed in mind and spirit. For the better.

I found myself thinking along the same Disney-ish, happy-go-lucky lines just a couple of weeks ago and shortly thereafter found myself in a whirlwind of physical, emotional, and stressful situations that have weighed pretty heavily since then, but seem to be (dare I say it?)  getting better. As I've trudged through the last weeks, I've thought a lot about how I get through them and come out the other side feeling blessed. I've come to accept that during these times, many people and situations are put in place to make me be inspired. The inspiration I've experienced has ranged from personal to spiritual to situational, and has arrived in the forms of sisters, parents, friends and co-workers. Some were just thoughts uttered while others have been in the form of entire experiences. Everything I read, heard, watched and participated seemed to inexplicably be tied to something I needed to be inspired about. Heaven sent things can be inexplicable, I know.

So again, I'm grateful. I'm blessed, and inspired. I love that!

Me, Sarah Jane, my mom, and Amy (our amazing hostess)
getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner.

What is Right and What is Easy

I was brought up well. I have goodly parents. They taught me well and raised me right, and especially showed me how to treat others. I love human beings. I see good in every one of them. I love you no matter your color, your inclinations, your choices, or your background. I am teaching my children to love. I feel I have been blessed to see the goodness in people no matter how far beneath the surface it is buried. As a matter of fact, I am often told I love far too readily and make excuses for the ways people may act. I'm really trying to understand their behavior and what may be causing them to make the choices they are.

BUT. If there is something that I feel is not righteous or is detrimental to the well being of me or my family, I may choose not to subject myself or the people I love to that influence. I will still love the person for who I see inside, but I will remove myself from what I may feel is dangerous or damaging to my spirit. I will not change my values or core beliefs because I love a person.

I feel in our world we confuse acceptance and love when they are two entirely different things. I may love a person dearly, but if they choose to be....say  a drug user, and I fear that my family may be influenced by those actions, I will not allow interaction between that person and my family members-especially during the drug use. I will be kind to that person, pray for that person, not speak badly about that person, and happily be around them when their thinking is clear. But I will not let my family think that the behavior is the correct way to lead a life. I will love the person, but not accept the behavior, or choose to be around it. It seems simple to me.

I also believe that we are responsible for the choices we make. No matter what has happened to us in the past, or who influenced us. I take responsibility for me. And there have been times that owning up to the things I have done is almost unbearable. It has led to realizing the many frailties and flaws in my personality. But I will not blame those actions on anyone but myself. I think that is one of the things we are on earth for. To overcome and show conviction even through hard times.

These are my personal views. In all my beliefs, loving one another is ingrained deeply in them. I realize we are all different and have to decide which values we are going to stand up for.  I don't want to ever fear that I did not stand up when I should have. It's a hard thing to do. It's not easy, and hopefully I will have the strength to stand up for truth while also being kind. And I will pray that those who see me stand up will also see the good in me that I see in them.