Is There a God?

It's lawn mowing day for me. As always I contemplate the universe when I'm out there trudging behind the mower. This week has been riddled with heartbreak and disappointment for my family and me with only more to come in the near future. I have never been one to cry "Why me?" or ask "How could God let this happen?", but I must admit that I have pondered the complexities of God's will as I have wondered (yes, I meant to say wondered) through this week.

While I have never questioned if there is a God, I realize there are people who do wonder. The proof has been in front of me my whole life. Life itself is proof to me but I have also witnessed miracles that could only come from God. I am human enough to admit that there is something much bigger than me that runs the universe and all its workings. Someone who holds all the control when I seem to have none. It's hard to relinquish control but I think that every human holds knowledge of God somewhere in their heart, no matter how small a piece and how deeply it is buried. Of course, every human has the right to choose whether to embrace God or not, and the irony in this is that He gave us choice as part of His plan. The beauty in choice is that every single choice ever made carries a consequence, whether that consequence has big or little effect on life.  So when calamities arise and  life gets unpredictable, the agency He gave us plays a part. God does let life happen to us. I firmly believe He interjects and intervenes as He sees fit, but so many things happen as a result of our human decisions, and He values that ability to choose. There are times when I have begged Him to intervene. I have asked him to open the earth and swallow whole bodies of land, but we continue to choose-either to our benefit or to our despair.

So back to my original question, is there a God? As for me, I give a definitive YES. He is in the air I breathe, my moveable, workable body, the beauty in the earth, the miracles I will not mark as chance. I have asked Him if He is real and I have my answer. Every person should know for themselves. I will not deny Him because things don't go my way or He "let bad things happen." That is where I know He has allowed agency. There has to be a reason to be here. Choice is how we know. What would be the purpose of existence if we led a life of aimless travel with no consequence for our actions? Our accountability to Him is what it all comes down to. Yes, His mercy is great, and thanks to this gift of choice, his justice will also be great.

I Disagree

When I look around today, I have to admit we live in a selfish world. I don't want to admit that. I see the good. But we are regrettably headed towards a self-serving, narcissistic mess of human kind. In a world-wide culture of "me-ness", it seems that kindness, common courtesy, tolerance and love towards one another are being left behind for the one. And the one uses any means necessary to justify this way of life.

I was discussing this with my 16 year old who is a wise and even ancient soul. I wish everyone could see life through her eyes. I think it would change the world. I know she can change the world, if only a little bit at a time. She was telling me that she has a group of friends who have made drastically different choices from hers, but they are people she still loves and she *respects their right to make choices*. She is kind to them even though she doesn't agree with their choices. And they love her for it. They don't scream "discrimination" because she doesn't agree with them. They are all grateful that they can disagree and still have a friendship. This skill is so rare yet extremely necessary in the current world. It seems that as soon as someone expresses disagreement with anyone in our culture today, discrimination is brought into the conversation, and things quickly go downhill from there. In other words, if you don't agree with me, I am going to call you names and throw accusations at you. I want YOU to agree with my perspective but I am not going to give you that same courtesy. Or even acknowledge that we are different , and it should be okay that we have different views on things.

Disagree means:

disagree/ˌdɪsəˈɡriː/ 

verb -grees, -greeing, -greed (intransitive) often foll by with

1. to dissent in opinion (from another person) or dispute (about an idea, fact, etc)

2. to fail to correspond; conflict

3. to be unacceptable (to) or unfavourable (for); be incompatible (with): curry disagrees with me 

4. to be opposed (to) in principle

 

Discriminate means:

discriminate verb (dɪˈskrɪmɪˌneɪt)

1. (intransitive; usually foll by in favour of or against) to single out a particular person, group, etc, for special favour or, esp, disfavour, often because of a characteristic such as race, colour, sex, intelligence, etc

2. when intr, foll by between or among. to recognize or understand the difference (between); distinguish

 

THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THINGS. I can disagree with your opinion, lifestyle, standards, morals, fashions, tastes, or views on anything and still not discriminate against you. I can even love you even though we view things differently. In fact, we can even be kind to each other!

 

 

 

Now how about that? Can you imagine how wonderful life could be if we could just agree to disagree? You're welcome. 

Room for Everyone on the Nice List

There are times I wish I could get one, yes just one message out to the world. I have tried to be subtle. I have tried to be in-your-face. I have coaxed, I have yelled, I have even cried the message. But not everyone is understanding. So here I am again...trying to get this missive out. Simply put, and in the awesome words of Buddy the Elf :

What does that mean, you ask? Well yes, it means everyone can and should be nice-but in my world, it means there's room for everyone to love. And be loved.

Love is the most pure gift there is. There is literally no limit to it. It can be given over and over again, and not diminish. Love is a natural, human thing to feel. We are born with the ability to automatically love. Love is good, love is kind, and EVERYONE needs it. It was meant to be freely  given, shared and experienced. Love grows; exponentially if we let it. Without a maximum capacity. Giving it to someone new in no way takes it away from the people we already love. It just expands even further.



Look at us lovebirds! Then...



...and now.

When I think back to my wedding, I remember feeling I could never love anyone more than I loved Chad that day. My love consumed me and I had a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that my love for him could get bigger. But it has. Every day. And I still have plenty to give to my children. And my friends. And my neighbors. And 600 children at school-with more left over for everyone else. It's amazing to me. A phenomenon that I am so grateful for.

Whatever the world has said, love is not a weapon. It should not come with threats or conditions. It should not be revoked. Trust can be revoked but love should never be taken back. Love should not be hoarded or saved for a rainy day. It is meant to be used in the here and now. Love does not hurt, though the loss of it does.

Love is an eternal principle-whether you believe in the afterlife or not. It continues beyond the grave, if only for the ones that are left behind. I'm a believer that love has no end and it continues for all of us, if we only open our hearts to embrace it. And that's the key, folks. Embracing  love is the remedy to all of life's ills. Love has healing properties. It protects, it strengthens, it gives. LOVE SAVES. There's more than enough for everyone. So jump on the nice list with me. There's plenty of room.

To Be or Not To Be.....a Hypocrite

I am off work for the summer. I have gotten so much done in the 8 days I have not been at work! As much I love my job and believe in the things I do there, I am grateful for my summers off. I love being with my family. I love being able to catch up on all the menial tasks I get behind on during the school year. I love sitting in my gazebo late at night under the stars. It gives me a lot of time to think.

Cheers!

As I mowed my lawn today, I had a lot going on in this little brain of mine while I pushed the mower for what seemed like miles. This morning when I was on Facebook I saw this:

I liked it. It made sense to me. I thought it was cool. Then I started thinking about hypocrites. And how easy it seems for us to call others hypocrites. And it occurred to me that we all are...well....hypocrites. Let me explain.

 

It's quite simple actually.

 

WE'RE HUMAN. We make mistakes. We shape who we are (as well as who we want to become) by the belief systems we embrace and by the actions we choose. We  choose morals to convey, and hope to model ourselves in the boundaries we create through our beliefs. Sometimes we make decisions that do not coincide with said belief system and these actions either change our position into something different, or become mistakes that we have to overcome before we progress in our selected molds. In other words we mess up. We say one thing and do another. We make poor judgments. So really, because every last one of us messes up, we are hypocrites. We are not showing the world the things we say we believe in, so we must be. Some say "I believe in Christ-like love", yet hurt someone's feelings by lashing out. Someone professes to embrace modesty, yet pictures get posted of that someone in a bikini. Groups of people call for a "live and let live" standard, but get angry if their position is not embraced by everyone else. We say "you shouldn't judge"-until there's someone we feel deserves our judgment.

 

Does this mean we are hypocrites? I'm not sure being human automatically turns us in to one. But I think we are doing our best, making mistakes, learning from them, and adjusting our positions. Repeatedly. There really are a few true hypocrites out there. The people who by definition "feign some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements." I believe there is a God and that He will have final say on who is and is not a hypocrite.

 

I agreed with this meme on FB. In my ever so humble opinion, I think it's a good point, but it obviously took me down a different road than I originally started on. It made me want to be careful-in what I say and what I do.And hope that when I do mess up, you won't see me as a hypocrite, but as someone who is trying, and hopefully becoming better in the process.

 





Hoard or Purge

I will admit I am a hoarder of several things. Well, actually many things when I think about it. There are items that if I go below a certain number in my stock, I kinda start freaking out. Some of these things include but are not limited to...
-Socks-I had 3 sisters. We were always stealing the last pair of socks from the folded laundry before the next sister could grab them. If you were too late, sometimes you'd go sock-less. I now have many, many socks in the sock drawer of each family member.
-Lotions-I love smelling good and having soft skin. Smells comfort me. If I am running low on lotion (almost never) Bath and Body Works will receive an emergency stock-up session from me.
-Hair doohickeys...rubber bands, clips, bobby pins, headbands-Like I said, I grew up with three sisters. Hair accessories were a premium but scarce item in our home.
-Shoes-A girl has got to have a pair for every situation.

I know-Bath and Body Works would be jealous, right?

Some of my best friends

My sock drawer

That being said, every few months I get a panicky, claustrophobic feeling of having too much stuff. When this occurs, I sweep through the house assessing which of the items we have stashed away need to be purged. My family knows that when I am ransacking the closets and rearranging the storage room, they'd better hide their stuff or it might get put in the box for the DI.

I think often about this cycle of mine and wonder what makes me need to hoard-and then need to purge. I think I have figured it out. Sort of.

As a human, the need to fill needs is ever present. Thus, the hoarding, the storing, the tendency to save for a rainy day.  The need to take care of our families and loved ones also drives these urges. In my family, and growing up in my church, we were taught to be prepared and be ready for any calamity or situation where we would have to rely on stored items. My family took this very seriously and my parents made sure we never went without the necessities and sometimes even frivolities when money was scarce. When I got married I followed their example. It is rare when I don't have at least one back up for the items we regularly use.

But I also live modestly, in a modest house with not a ton of extra storage. When my stock piling urges kick in (usually constituted by a great sale) I have to make sure there is space. I have been known to overwhelm myself by bringing home too many back-ups. I also have a clean freak living inside this head of mine. Between those two things, it is cause for the purge, and then it starts all over again.

When I said the secret to life is balance, I meant it. I don't know if I will ever get there with my storing and cleaning monsters  always facing off, but here's to the fight, and to trying. And if that doesn't work, I can always watch an episode of "Hoarders". That always makes me feel better about myself :)

Arrrgh!

The Miracle Round

I had a little girl come up to me today at recess. She was bursting at the seams with news of her weekend. She and her family and friends went to the "Miracle Round" and had the best time ever! At first I was confused at what the "Miracle Round" could be, but this little bundle of exuberance explained that it is a really fun place where you go up and down and no matter if you're up or down, it just makes you so happy! It came around to the fact that she had been on the merry-go-round, and it was horses that had gone up and down. But it got me thinking...her innocent and wonderfully childish delight put a whole new perspective on life for me. A perspective that I hope to realize again and again.  Life is a miracle round. With all the ups and downs it is a miracle just to be alive and be LIVING! To have made it through the day. Even with all the poopy things that can happen in a day (yes, I said poopy) I'm always grateful to be reminded of the simple things, the simple moments, the simple blessings.

Some of the simple things that have come to my attention so far....

A bouquet of gorgeous lilacs hand delivered to me just because.....and the delicious scent that is coming from them.

A two minute neck and shoulder rub from my oh-so-busy and ever amazing husband before he ran outside to finish the lawn.

A necklace he ordered for me because he knows how much I love my job, and how grateful I am to be surrounded by sweet little spirits who need my love and my encouragement.

Rain that is desperately needed in the forecast, and knowing thousands of my friends and neighbors have been praying for it.

Knowing my candle stash is just one set of stairs down from me, and if I need a hit of scent to calm or comfort me I can dash down for one.

Having my "thoughtful spot" outside. I find my Zen there almost every evening.

Texting with my sisters.

Seeing that there is ALWAYS, ALWAYS good in the world.

Listening to my clever daughters and my "son" banter and feel the love and fun between them.

Knowing true love exists, that it takes work, that it is meant to be work, and being grateful to be working on it.

Uno Mas (one more)

One more school story for the week. I'm not making any promises about next week!

It's amazing to me that children always choose great moments to lift you. I believe this is partly because of their innocence and natural ability to love, but I also believe these perfectly timed moments are heaven sent as well.

In kindergarten this week I had several darling conversations with a little girl. Once these conversations were pieced into one big story it absolutely tickled me as well as gave me a little dose of much needed confidence and self-esteem. Here's how things went...

Tuesday-
 Girl: Miss Heather, do you have any kids?
Me: Yes, I  have some daughters.
Girl: Can I have a play date with them?
Me: Well, honey, they are a little grown up for you.
Girl: Oh. That's kind of sad!

Thursday-
Girl: Miss Heather, how old are your girls?
Me: Well, one is in high school and the other is married.
Girl: Can I see them?
I pull up pictures of my girls on my phone and show her.
Girl: Those girls are grown up.
Me: Yup honey, they are.
Girl: Well, that's kind of sad.

Friday-
Girl: Miss Heather, I don't understand why I can't have a play date with your girls.
Me: Well honey, I told you they were all grown up. They usually don't have play dates anymore.
Girl: No Miss Heather, I mean I want to play with YOUR kids!
Me: Those are my kids. My girls are big girls.
Girl: No they aren't. I want to play with the kids you have at your house.
Me: Those really are them honey. I have grown up girls.
Girl: I just don't understand. Those can't be your kids! You have no wrinkles and your hair is still yellow!
Me...speechless...really I want to just scoop this girl up and give her the biggest hug ever! She made me smile and it made my day! I have found that no matter what kind of day I am having, or how poorly I think I might be handling things, I get to experience little gems like this throughout each day that make me happy and light-hearted. Tender mercies sent from heaven's littlest of angels. And for that I am grateful.