Experience Neccessary

Been thinking about this one quite a bit. As the world gets exponentially crazier by the day, thoughts get only halfway across my mind before I can settle on them and try to form a complete idea-let alone an entire blog post. But this concept came more than once, and this time it stuck. And I took notes! Give the lady a prize! I guess I haven't gone completely crazy. I have a few smarts left to get me through. But I also have experience, and I think the experience is what got me to the point to be able to write. 

Smarticle Particles

Let's just put it out there. The world has gone nuts, the Gods must be crazy, we are living in Looney Town, we're living on the edge...however you want to state it.  I just have to keep the news off. I get so confused when it's on. NOTHING adds up. Like literally numbers do not add up or make sense. Things that I consider to be common sense items are being turned on their heads. Facts I was sure would never be argued are argued-heatedly-every day. There's misconstrued information and skewed data. There's tension and division and back-stabbing everywhere. I just have to pull back. My brain is a good one, but it does not have the capacity for bending ideas. I have a hard enough time with multiverses and time travel in movies. I can't add more mind-twisting thoughts. It's taking the wind out of my sails and taking way too much energy. 

I do, however, realize that each person that was ever created experiences every situation in a different way. Their own way. You could take the exact same situation with the exact same circumstances-same facts, outcomes, variables, people, locations, etc and give it to a set of identical twins, and they would not experience it exactly the same way no matter how steadily you tried to influence the entire scenario. They would feel, see, and react differently. Even if they both felt fear, the fear would be different. Any emotion that had the same label would not be experienced exactly the same between them. Mind-blowing, right? That is why we must work to listen to and understand others...because even if we have been through exactly the same situation as another, even with the exact same components, we will not experience it in the same way as ANYONE else. EVER.

Want some simple examples?

For the person who craves adventure, that could mean taking a new route home...while for another it could mean jumping out of an airplane. For the person who wants peace, it could mean they need quiet music for awhile or the phone could be turned off for an hour-and to another it could mean a trek alone to the middle of nowhere, in a secluded cabin, with no one for as far as the eye could see. For the person who wants a wild life, a night on the town might be just the ticket...yet for another it could be a few years of promiscuity, recklessness, boozing and carousing. For one person, ambition might look like learning every skill possible to do the job as well as it can be done, and for another it can be climbing the ladder as far as possible.  Contentment for one could be having every need met for all those you love, and for another it might mean  getting bigger and more of not just needs, but every want as well. You could even do the glass half empty or half full scenario here. We all experience differently. Even in dealing with death. When my father died, my sisters and I all felt similar feelings, while also feeling a vast array of different and circumstantial emotions of our own to go with the grief and loss we felt. We were all blood, raised in the same home with the same people and rules, yet none of us experienced that loss in the same way. It meant different things to each of us, and made us feel completely different  (yet also unified) emotions about the whole ordeal. When you have watched someone suffer for that long, death can look like a sweet release-and it is-but it is also a soul shaking, heart breaking way to feel so alone. 

Any situation a mortal can experience-well no two humans will ever have it the same. No matter if they want to, try to, coerce to, or are given stringent parameters with which to contain the experience-it will be different each and every time. Sometimes in subtle ways and other times in such gargantuan ways we won't see then coming until it's much too late. And it's okay. We were meant to be our very own unique selves with unique coping mechanisms, traits, habits, feelings and ways to look at every part of every experience.. Even our eyes do not see color the same way. No food ever tastes exactly the same from one person to another-that's across the board. And isn't that cool? Because though most of us want to somehow fit in to our surroundings-our people, our workspaces, our families and neighborhoods- we also have a yearning inside to be unique and have something-anything- be just for us. Just one thing that only WE can experience like no one ever has- and we do. What a cool bonus. 

But where does that leave my overwhelmed and addled mind? I'll be honest-somedays it leaves me wanting to run away and hide. My mission in life is to love and bring people together. If we are all so different, and the differences keep piling up, how in the world can I continue my life's work and leave a lasting mark?  It just leaves me feeling like I am carrying several elephants on my back. 

Well, the first thing I am going to acknowledge is that BECAUSE no one will ever experience anything the same way as anyone else, then it stands to reason that none of us EVER know EVERYTHING. We may research and talk and compare notes, and even be an exceptionally good listener, but we will never know the full extent of anyone else's experiences. Which, in truth, is an awesome thing. Because experiences are PERSONAL. Yes, you can share all you want to, but there will be parts that are never felt by anyone but YOU. Knowing this, though, leaves a gap. Sometimes it's a small space and other times it's a deep chasm. That leaves a lot of understanding to be lacking. It's a little intimidating. This is why experience is so necessary. So we can add it to the mix. Yours, mine, everyone's. There will be times the gap is too big and can't be overcome. Sometimes experience is the great divider. The expanse is too vast, and the experiences too far apart to be able to converge. And that's okay. That is one of the ways we weed things out and learn compatibilities. Sometimes others' experiences are just for our view, for our learning, and for our growth-but not to bring us together. It's for OUR experience to see theirs...as much as we can,  and then make the call. 

In the best circumstances, if we try and really care, the experiences of everyone can bring us together. We can fill in the blanks, open our hearts, broaden our thinking, and use all the information to build understanding and unity. It takes work. Sometimes a lot of it. But I feel like the work is worth it. I have gained some of the most important relationships in my life by working to understand not only my experiences, but everyone else's as well. I have been all the better for it. And I am grateful.