All-time Friendship

I have wanted to write a friendship post for a long time but haven't been sure how to word what I feel. I was just writing a thank you note to a friend of mine and on the front it says "A Friend Loves at All Times". That is my exact take on friendship. If I have ever loved you, you are my friend. Whether we see each other or not, whether our friendship was good for us or not, whether there was a falling out or not, whether we live close or are far apart, my love still stands and you are my friend. Whether or not you are a friend to me does not matter; I have loved you, and you are my friend.

Dear friends

I have finally learned that the main ingredient in friendship is love. Love is a gift. It is free with no strings attached. Trust has strings attached and it is earned, but love is a freebie. The heart loves, even if the brain wants otherwise. So if you are my friend I will NOT say..."well, I will only love you if you agree with me, or never hurt my feelings, or as long as you never have a bad day. I will only love you as long as you are there whenever I am hurting, or need a shoulder to cry on, even if there are things going on in your life that are beyond your control. I will only love you if you act like I think you need to." I will never say that, and I hope you won't put those expectations on me, either.

There have been times when I know I have not been a good friend. I have made mistakes, I have been reactionary and had poor judgment. Heck-there are times I have been just plain thoughtless and reckless, never taking into account the people I might be hurting. I am hoping that my friendship skills have improved considerably as I have gotten older.  Some of the decisions I have made on how to treat people  were absolute train wrecks. Sometimes I have not known how to "play the game". I have made observations from the outside of situations without knowing the rest of the story. I am truly sorry. I am trying to do better. Maintaining friendship is a lifelong process. We grow up and mature, and understand there is more to every situation than we thought. We value each other more, and begin to weed out the influences we need in our lives. Weeding out doesn't mean the love stops, it just means the friendship has turned a different direction. There are people we love that are just not good for us. It's okay, you can still love from a distance.

New friends

So my promise to you, my friends, is that I do love you. That will never change. I promise to be there when I can~ and when I can't, I will pray for you and carry you in my heart. I will understand that there are times you will not be there for me. I promise to want the best for you, even if I do not agree with what you are doing. I promise to love you for who you are as well as who you are becoming. I promise to be myself and I want you to be yourself. I promise not to judge you by the things in your past, the things that you own, or the mistakes you have made, but to love what you have in your heart. I promise that when we are apart I think of you and want the best for you, and if we have moved on to different phases of our lives, I will hope for your happiness. You are my friend, and I love you.

Friends that have become family

Gracefully

In a little over a week I will be 45 years old. This does not worry me or make me feel old, although I do realize I am older. I see my wrinkles, feel the creakiness creeping into my bones and do not have as sharp a mind as I used to. But I feel pretty good and I think I look all right, so at this point I am not stressing about age. What I do think about is aging gracefully. In body, mind, spirit, and action. I hope I can pull it off. In reality, I AM GRATEFUL WE GROW UP!

About 1973-ish...I am on the left

I am grateful that age brings perspective. About everything! It changes priorities. Experience is a great teacher. Some of the things that I have learned through the years...

~Skinny is not everything! I was a stick for half of my life. I got called every name in the book-anorexic, chicken legs, walking stick...I have gained some curves and soft spots since having children and I have to say that even though I always want to lose that "last 5 pounds", I like myself more now that I did back when I weighed 120. I like the softness that comes with a little fluff. Just sayin'.

Highschool~ Amy on the left, me on the right

My Institute ID in college

~I have made many mistakes. Some of them were doozies. I will make many more, as I am entirely human. Hopefully they will not be the same ones I have made before. I have learned from them. They have made me stronger, more empathetic, and less judgmental. I have learned (for the most part) not to assume the worst about anyone, or any situation; though there are times that it really is exactly what it looks like. I have learned people CAN change, but only when they want to. I have also learned that mistakes do not define people. How they handle them does.

Life in college-I learned some of my biggest lessons there.
This is me with Michael Damian~a singer and actor.

~People will judge you. People will form opinions about you. It is a human condition to do so. It doesn't mean they are right about you, and it doesn't mean they are bad for thinking what they do.  You can let it affect you or you can breeze past the judgments and live your life. Perceptions can be changed. Your choice is to change them if they need to be changed.

~Life really does have seasons. Seasons of change,trial, ease, friendships, health, sickness, responsibilities, freedom and happiness. And many, many more. The trick is to know which one you are in, and make the most of it. When my kids were little and sick ALL the time, I finally learned that this was our time to cuddle and stay home together, and that all the other things could wait for another season.

~Out of all the things that I thought were important in my younger life, only two of them are still important to me. My relationship with God and my relationships with people. Maybe you're worried it's only two, but those two things encompass everything a human does in a lifetime. The things, the events and happenings, the fluff and show and outward appearances are nothing when all is said and done. Relationships take a lifetime of work and they are included in everything that is good and praiseworthy. I have a long way to go, but I am grateful I still realize their importance.

Moving Right Along

Moving Right Along from the original Muppet Movie

Yesterday my world shifted. It was time for it to shift, but I felt the change deeply. I have been working with a group of young women in my church for the last two years. It has been some of the happiest, hardest, most fulfilling, educating, time-consuming, spirit building, heart-wrenching work I have ever done. I LOVE THESE GIRLS! They have occupied every Sunday and every Wednesday night (and many days in between) since February 2013. They have also occupied my thoughts, my prayers, and my heart! Add to this the amazing women that I have worked with and I am filled with a bundle of emotions at all of this coming to an end. I have been released from my church calling.

Now that my crying jags have finished (for now) I am piecing together all the amazing things I have gained from this experience. I have learned a lot and grown from the blessings and challenges that have been presented to me through the service I have been blessed to give.  I'm writing them down so I don't forget them.

~Everyone yearns for love and acceptance-whether they show it outwardly or not. Some people let you know that they have a need for attention, but the quiet ones with an air of contentment need the same things the rest of us do.

~Service feels good. Finding the time, energy, and gumption can take everything a person has, but in the end it is all worth it. I have never left a situation where I gave service and regretted it. I'm always grateful I stepped up.

Some of our Young Women doing service on Temple Square

~LOVE GROWS.

~Understanding people, their needs, their circumstances and what makes them tick is a full time job and perceptions get shifted on a continual basis. We NEVER know everything that is going on in a person's life. From the outside things can look like perfection and in reality things are a mess or vice-versa.

Girls Camp

~Time invested is never wasted if you are doing it for the good of others. This is a reality that is not grasped very often in this world anymore. Whether we see the fruits of our labors or not is entirely beside the point. Time spent on others is not wasted time.

After early morning baptisms at Brigham City Temple

~BUT....wondering if you could have done better in your endeavors with others is very haunting. It makes me want to try harder.

~BUT AGAIN, I am leaving this opportunity better than I came into it. I have more love, more friends, more understanding, more empathy, and respect. I am better for it and hope I have made others better in my wake.

~Every person needs light. It is one of my callings in life to give it. I pray for the strength to succeed.

St George Temple 2013 Girls Camp

 ~There are wonderful, glorious, talented, beautiful people in this world. I served them, served with them, and am watching new ones step in to pick up the work. It is a very rewarding thing to realize.

Don't they look like sunshine? Light at it's best!